


Dreaming the life

by Octoberrose11



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Death eater Des, Gryffindor Liam, Hufflepuff Harry, Hufflepuff Niall, Jay died in a death eater attack, Louis-centric, Multi, Ravenclaw Zayn, Slytherin Louis, canon harry potter deaths, coma Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-05-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 13:56:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10923198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Octoberrose11/pseuds/Octoberrose11
Summary: Based on a tumblr postIn the days and weeks that follow the Battle of Hogwarts seventh year Louis Tomlinson fights a battle between life and death, and staying with his boys or staying with his mom.The fic follows the five boys as they make life or death decisions in a time period that should be the best of their lives. Featuring Slyth Louis, Huff Niall and Harry, Ravenclaw Zayn and Gryf Liam as they struggle to accept the past, the present and their future as friends and as a relationship and how to bring Louis back to them.But as the story of what actual went down the days leading up to the battle come out into the open truths are revealed and the relationship between the boys are tested and might never be the same again. Zayn, who's parents pulled from Hogwarts, returns foretelling that only good things are coming for them and everyone they know but with Louis in a medical coma, Harry being detained for Death Eater behavior and Niall not knowing just how loved he is Liam isn't sure how much he believes himWill Louis choose life, and an uncertain future, or death where he can be at peace forever?





	Dreaming the life

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly can't believe I've made it to posting this so I'll do my best to keep this short, unlike last years xP. Ao3 has ate over 500 words of this so be prepared for that. 
> 
> Note: if there's something you think should be added to the tags please tell me nicely. 
> 
> Thank you to unoriginalloner, and mercedesinthepool for letting me scream about this fic to you guys, especially Callie. Callie was there from the start and can tell you how often I screamed at her through whatsapp at 3am. 
> 
> Thank you to champaynezaddy for beta reading this. You're the real MVP. 
> 
> Also the biggest thanks to three-things-sid who did the art for the fic, it's beautiful and I've had the hardest time not sharing the parts that I've seen and now I finally can. 
> 
>  
> 
> [link to the amazing art :D](http://three-things-sid.tumblr.com/post/160740338231/artmix-for-ot5trashno1-s-1d-big-bang)

^*^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Somewhere in the place between life and death

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Between life and death, you would think you would find somewhere peaceful, maybe a meadow with flowers. Maybe a waterfall. Maybe the place your favorite memory takes place. You would think everything would be calm and still around you. You would think, even, maybe everything would finally be okay. You might even think you’d never be hurt again, that’d you would be at peace.

Between life and death, you would think nothing could hurt you, that everything would be bright and okay, that maybe you would see all of your loved ones that have gone before you. You might think that there would be music you could dance to or your favorite animal or sunshine you could sunbathe in.

Between life and death, you would think you would feel happiness. You might think that you would finally feel at peace, content with the hand that life, that fate has dealt you.

But between life and death, there are none of those things.

Instead, there’s darkness.

Everything is dark, all that there is around him, before him and behind him is darkness. The darkness should be all consuming, it should feel suffocating but it doesn’t. It feels light. It feels freeing. It feels safe, a feeling he hasn’t felt in a long time, almost longer than he cares to remember. It feels like home.

Louis feels like he should be afraid, but he isn’t. There’s no reason to be afraid here. He knows nothing can hurt him, at least not anymore then he has already been hurt. He knows there can’t be anything here that’s any scarier than the things he has gone through in the last year.

He knows that this darkness will protect him.

But still.

He walks, wonders really, not knowing where he’s going but knows that he’s going to get there eventually.

A light shines up ahead, beckoning Louis to it, so he follows it. The light gets brighter and brighter, chasing all the shadows away, leaving Louis blinded for a moment before he can blink the dots in his vision away.

And then he sees her.

He has to stop walking, his heart in his throat. His knees go weak, even as he reaches a shaking hand out, not sure if it’s real, or if he’s imagining it. “Mom?” He stops walking and stares at her even as tears fill his eyes. He starts to collapse but is caught before he can actually fall.

“Oh baby, it’s so good to see you.” Jay Tomlinson pulls her oldest into a hug, holding him tightly for the first time in over nineteen months. She rocks them side to side never wanting to let go. Eventually, she takes a step back and cups his face in her small hands. “Oh my love,” she runs a finger over his stubbled cheek, “you’ve gotten so big. Look at all that facial hair.” She squishes his face between her hands, running a thumb under his eye.

He allows himself to fall into his mom’s embrace. There’s something he should be worried about, or someone rather, but as his mom holds him close and runs soft hands through his hair he can’t find it within himself to care.

For the first time in over a year, he feels safe, and happy, and at peace. Everything outside of that doesn’t matter.

 

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Hogwarts, time unknown

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

“Louis, love please wake up.” A tan hand runs down a weary face, three other bodies wrapped tightly around him. “We don’t know what we’re going to do without you. Please, please wake up.” He’s the oldest of the four, he has to be the strongest but doesn’t know how much longer he can hold it together for the others, or if he even should.

One of the boys lets out a sob, his body crumbling out from underneath him. The other boys do their best to escort him out of them room, the eldest giving a sad lingering glance before he follows.

A nurse, who enters behind them, watches them go sadly before she shakes it off, “Good morning Mr. Tomlinson,” she chirps, forcing his body into an upright position and spelling potions into his throat. She carefully lays him down when she’s done but pauses before she leaves, “Just between you and me, love, I hope you do come back. This old woman knows love and those boys love you a lot. I’ll be back after lunch with your next round of potions.”

There’s no one in the room to see but his left pinky wiggles.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Somewhere in the place between life and death, unknown amount of time later

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

They find themselves sitting under a tree by a river, the sun warm on their skin. Jay, Louis’ mom, looks tan and happy, and at peace with herself. She smells like the perfume she’s always worn, the scent bringing up memories from childhood that Louis had thought he had forgotten.

Of mornings when it was just him and his mom against the world and baking cookies as the sun set, way past the time Louis should have been in bed. Of counting change out for families when they would come into their potion shop, Louis’ feet unable to touch the floor but smiling as big as he could because mommy was proud of him. It was the smell of hiding behind her robe the first time she introduced him to Mark, holding the rings when they got married in the muggle world and it was the smell of the sparks flying overhead when they married in the wizarding one. It was the smell that filled the hospital room when his sisters were born, and the one that he sprayed on his pillow in his dorm room every night, doing his best to remember. To forget.

It was the smell of what used to be home.

He hasn’t managed to make himself crying, or make himself stop clinging to her hand, or holding on as tight as he can to her waist, terrified she’s going to disappear into thin air again. He tries to tell himself that he’s a man now, that he should have a better control on his emotions but he knows better. He knows that his mom isn’t going to judge him for crying, that there’s nothing wrong with it.

She doesn’t tell him to stop crying, just like he knew she wouldn’t. She also doesn’t tell him to act like a man. She just keeps running gentle hands through his hair, humming one of the lullabies she used to sing to Phoebe and Daisy under her breath.

When he finally manages to calm down and lets his hands relax he pulls back a little to look at her, to remind himself exactly what she looks like, alive and happy. 

She, in turn, looks back at him and rubs her thumb under his eye where a stray tear is trying to make it’s way down. “My poor little darling,” she says, voice soft, “you’ve had such a hard time of it, haven’t you? You’ve had to be so brave and tough for so long.” She holds him tighter in her arms, sways them back and forth. “It’s okay now, baby, mom’s here now.”

“I’ve missed you, mommy.” He tells her, shoulder and voice shaking with more tears.

“I’ve missed you too, darling love.”

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Two weeks after the Battle of Hogwarts, a Monday

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Louis wakes up to gentle fingers in his hair, which is the first thing he notices, in a sleepy kind of way. The second thing he notices is that he hurts like hell, and hurts, even more, every time he tries to move. The third and last thing he notices is that there’s also a hand holding tight to his left hand, and a voice speaking quietly to him.

“You really did give the four of us a happily ever after Lou,” Liam says. He sounds choked up, and like he’s been crying hard and is trying to make it sound like he hasn’t been. Always a people pleaser, their Liam, never wanting anyone to really know how he is feeling, always keeping his thoughts to his chest. He never can be at peace with himself unless he knows he’s please everyone else around him first, that everyone around him feels safe.

Liam’s voice shakes for a moment before he presses on, “I know the others have been in here too, but the healers have all told us not to overwhelm you so we try to keep us one at a time to a visit, sometimes two if we’re feeling daring.” He tightens his hold on Louis’ hand as he gives a weak laugh, though it sounds happier than sad. “We try not to tell each other what we talk about when we’re here, even though we don’t really have any secrets between the five of us, so I’m not sure if anyone has told you but.

“All the first years made it out alive, Louis. Actually, all the lower year survived the battle thanks to you.” His breath hitches. “Everyone in the dungeon with you survived without any injuries. Everyone but you.” Liam starts to cry, giant sobs that shake his body and that shakes the bed Louis is laying on. “W- we have Pansy to thank for that too.

“I can’t believe how reckless you were, Louis! There were people coming down to rescue you.” Liam’s breath hitches with a sob. “We- we wouldn’t have let the castle come down on any of you. You didn’t have to. You didn’t have to.” Liam can’t finish the thought, his sobs overpowering him.

He manages to calm down a little, manages to whisper out a, “They’re. Louis, they’re not sure if you’re going to wake up. I, we can’t imagine a world without you in it Louis. Please, please wake up soon. Or do something so I know to let you go.” Liam sniffles, squeezing tightly onto Louis’ hand. “I don’t want to let you go,” he admits, “but I don’t know how much longer we can do this. I’d wait forever for you to wake up if only I knew for sure that you would.”

Weakly Louis uses all of his strength to squeeze Liam’s hand back, his eyes drifting closed under their own power even as Liam sobs out a, “Thank you,” to the universe. Louis knows he should comfort him, to assure him that he’s okay, that he’s alive, and that Liam never needs to worry about him again. He knows he should. But he’s so tired and he can’t get his eyes to stay open.

Louis decides to let himself go back to sleep, giving Liam’s hand one more weak squeeze before falling back into a dream world, taking note in some part of his brain that Liam is still talking, that the younger boy is no longer crying.

He smiles as dreamland takes him away.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

When he wakes up the second time he finds himself being the big spoon for Harry, or as much as he can be with Harry sitting up and him laying down. The younger boy has hit another growth spurt and is almost falling off the end of the bed, feet hooked over the end so he doesn’t fall off, legs intertwined with Louis’, bodies pressed as close together as they can get.

It shouldn’t amuse Louis as much as it does but he can remember when the lad was a little thing, barely came up to mama Anne’s thigh, and to see him now you wouldn’t ever have thought he could have been that small.

Looking at the young man in front of him now it’s hard to remember that he used to lisp trying to say, “Louis”, that he was the same boy who cried and cried when Louis got his Hogwarts letter, that he’s the same boy who ran after the train when Louis left, sobbing for him not to leave him behind. Louis can’t remember a time in his life where Harry wasn’t there, and he hopes he never has to picture a time that he won’t be. Louis wants to raise children and grandchildren with this boy (and their other boys, if they’ll let him).

He wants the five of them to move to the muggle world if the others want, so they can go to school and they can learn how to be adults in a world that doesn’t always want them dead. Where they can be out and proud, where they could even one day marry each other and not be judged for being who they really are.

Louis, more than anything, wants Harry to be at peace with himself. To finally be happy and proud, and to not have to hide anymore. Where Harry can wear Muggle nail polish on the street and not feel judged, or like he needs to change.

He’s reading Witches Weekly out loud (of course he is), one hand to turn the pages and the other in Louis’ hair. The longer Louis struggles to stay awake the more it sounds like Harry is reading a gossip column to him, his voice shaking with tears. He continues to read on, the hand on Louis’ hair coming up to wipe his face at times before returning to touch Louis gently, as if to remind himself that Louis really was alive, that he wasn’t imagining it.

The irony of Harry’s choice in the book isn’t lost on him (even though a lot in this situation is). He wishes, in this instance, more than ever, that he had any kind of strength in his body at all so he could comfort Harry but all of his strength is being used to hold his eyes open.

He’s still so tired. So, so tired.

He manages to turn his head in Harry’s direction, to look up at him and watch the sunlight dance across Harry’s face. He’s tired to the point of not being able to hear what Harry is saying, or at least not understanding it, but there’s something peaceful about being able to watch Harry’s mouth form the words as he reads, the way his nose crinkles when he finds something amusing and the way he frowns when he doesn’t agree with a statement.

He watches as Harry’s eyes seem to glow as he explains how Gemma, his sister, is dating a muggle now but she had mama Anne mail this in for him, even though technically mail shouldn’t be able to reach the castle. Harry doesn’t bother looking at him, doesn’t even begin to consider that Louis might be awake as he continues to ramble away with everything and anything that comes to Harry’s mind.

He manages to squeeze Harry’s hip before he allows his eyes to close in sleep. He doesn’t hear Harry’s whispered, “Lou?” or the eventual breakdown, the screams for the healers to come that follows.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

When he wakes up the third time, for real, an unknown amount of time has passed and it’s Zayn, instead of Harry, cuddling against him in the hospital bed, chest to chest, Zayn’s head tucked into Louis’ throat. His favorite spot. Zayn’s breathing is ragged, like he had been crying hard, or running hard before he had settled down into sleep. His breaths tickle Louis’ facial hair (which he notes, in a distorted kind of way is getting too long and desperately needs to be cut), and the hair moves on Zayn’s every exhale.

Louis winces a little, it’s not a very comfortable feeling against his sore skin, having all of Zayn’s body weight and heat against his own, but he grits his teeth and does his best to deal with it. Something tells him that his boys haven’t been sleeping well recently, even if he can only see part of what he’s sure is dark, deep circles under Zayn’s eyes.

The thing is, even now, clearly exhausted, Zayn still looks beautiful. And it’s not Louis’ bias thinking so either, nor the fact that Zayn really is one of the most beautiful humans ever birthed on the planet earth.

Things as lovely as Zayn shouldn’t look as tired as he is.

Things as lovely as Zayn shouldn’t have the wrinkle on his forehead, nor the deep frown on his face.

Even though they’re wizards and by wizarding life spans technically are still in the child phase of life and they don’t have to worry about wrinkles anytime soon Zayn still shouldn’t be frowning like he is. He shouldn’t have the wrinkle on his forehead. So he does his best to lay still and to keep quiet, to not wake up Zayn with any of his shifting, and smiles a little when Zayn tightens his arm around him in his sleep like his arm could protect Louis from harm.

He knows, at least, that three of his four boys are safe. And thanks to Liam, he knows the kids under his watch are safe too. He feels settled, more settled than he’s felt in the last year probably, even though he’s still worried that something might have happened to Niall but he pushes those thoughts away, tries to do his best to just be happy.

“Zayn,” he whispers even though it hurts and he sounds so unlike himself, mostly to see the smile that overtakes the sleeping boy’s face, “Zayn I told you once I wasn’t going to let you go ever again. And I always keep my promises.” He presses a kiss to the side of Zayn’s head, leaving his lips there in his own weak version of a smile before he closes his eyes and wills himself back to sleep, wrapping his own arm tightly around Zayn.

Later he’ll tell someone he’s awake and find out what happened, for now, he just wants to snuggle with his boy.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

The next time Louis wakes up there isn’t any light coming in through the window in his room and Zayn is no longer asleep beside him. In some turn of luck the first one to notice Louis is actually awake, of course, is Niall in all of his- not so blonde glory? What the hell. Louis sits up, weak arms shaking as they try to help hold up his body weight as he stares at the other boy in shock. How long has he been out? What else is different? Are his boys even his boys anymore?

The rustling of the sheets make from him trying to sit up has Niall turning his head to face him, a frown makes his face crinkle before he lights up, a smile making him look younger than ever. “Lou, you’re awake!” Niall drops the toast he had been munching on and throws himself on top of Louis, sloppily kissing his cheek and laughing with delight at the grossed out sound Louis makes when he leaves a trail of spit behind.

“Niall!” He groans a little under the crushing weight, wincing as he tries to move away. “Niall, you’re hurting me babe.” Niall pulls back, his happy smile gone. Louis is surprised to see tears in Niall’s eyes, which are quickly making their way down Niall’s cheeks, and pulls Niall down onto the bed with him and into a cuddle, ignoring the way he protests and tries to pull away, ignores the way his body protests too. Nothing is as important as Niall being happy, or as Niall being safe. Nothing else in the world matters, not the pain Louis is in or the fact that he couldn’t even begin to tell you what day it is, or even the year.

“We.” Niall hiccups, and tries to start again. “Liam told us you squeezed his hand the other day and Harry told us he thought you squeezed his hip,” he finally manages to sob out, “but none of us had seen you open your eyes and all of the healers that have stopped by told us there wasn’t anything more they could do for you.” He squeezes his eyes closed, trying to stop the new tears that try to escape. “We. We managed to get a specialist in to see you and she said it was all up to you, but to expect the worst.”

At this point Niall is sobbing too hard to continue on, holding onto Louis like he expects him to vanish into thin air like he expects Louis to die at any moment. Louis is shocked but does his best to hold Niall close against himself, rocking him like he would Fizzy when she’d have a nightmare.

They sit in silence for a while, only the sound of Niall’s sniffling between them, though outside of the curtains the sounds of other students and healers could be heard moving about. It’s comforting, in a way, like the battle had never happened. Like the past school year was just a dream that could be shaken off and forgotten, and they could move on from. Like everything was the way it was supposed to be. The sound of footsteps approaching them reaches Louis’ ears before his curtain is pulled open, Louis’ startled eyes meeting those of Zayn and Liam.

Both boys look overwhelmed with seeing Louis awake, and they both look like they would love nothing more than to rush at him and to force him into a hug but Louis shakes his head and they both take the hint, sitting down on chairs they transfigure, letting the silence envelop them too. Liam has his puppy dog eyes on, lip pressed out in a pout but Niall comes first. Niall should always come first, it’s like a major rule for the five of them.

Niall breaks it first, more pulled together, though still looking a little teary. “We didn’t know if you’d decide to come back.” It comes out as a whisper, like it’s a fragile secret between the two, even though Zayn and Liam could hear it as well. “We, we knew that you had to be happy where ever you had gone to, in the state between being dead and alive but....” He trails off.

“We had started planning your funeral,” Liam tells him bluntly, his own brown eyes wide with tears. “We. We got in contact with Mark and asked him what we should do.”

Zayn wraps an arm around Liam and blinks at the pile that is Niall and Louis. “He told us that we probably knew you better than he did and to do what we thought was best. We uh, we had decided that if you hadn’t woken up by the end of the week that we’d ask one of the healers to help you. Uh.”

“We thought we’d ask the healers help you cross over.” Harry says from the open curtains, leaning hard on some crutches.

Louis hadn’t taken into account that any of his boys might have been hurt since waking up the first time, more interested in the fact that the one visiting had survived but now that he has seen Harry he can’t help but take inventory.

It appears that Harry has broken his left leg and right arm which is likely to make him more baby deer like than usual. Harry also has a huge band-aid wrapped around his head, and another around his ribs.

He turns his attention to Liam next eyes narrowing when he notices the black eye and split lip his has and then widening in shock when he notices that the other boy’s shoulder is wrapped like Harry’s ribs and that his arm is in a sling.

He knows Niall is fine, thanks to his aggressive love attack on Louis’ person so he turns his attention on Zayn, relieved to find that he doesn’t look too much for wear either.

Then exactly what Harry had said hits him. “Wait, what do you mean help me cross over?” He asks, eyes narrow.

Liam raises his hands in a soothing manner. “We didn’t want you in any pain, love, and they couldn’t tell us that you for sure weren’t feeling any pain. We would have done anything to get you to wake up-”

Niall cuts in, “Including the time four days ago when Payno tried to wake you up by blowing you,” which makes the boy in question blush a deep red.

Before a fight can really get going Louis raises any eyebrow at all of them, pushing Niall off the bed beside him, even as he waves Harry in. “What exactly happened anyway?”

Niall snorts. “It’s kind of a long story, love.” He runs a gentle hand through Louis' hair, still worried the older boy would disappear on them.

Louis shrugs. “It isn’t like we don’t have all the time in the world,” he points out.

Liam sighs and drags the other three over and forces the five of them into a cuddle before he begins.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Day of the battle of Hogwarts, 10:00 PM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

"I know that you are preparing to fight. Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me. I do not want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical blood. Give me Harry Potter, and they shall not be harmed. Give me Harry Potter and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight." (HP&tDH)

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Day of the battle of Hogwarts, 11:00 PM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

The walls rock around them, even as loud explosions fill the air. Louis Tomlinson, the oldest in the room, already eighteen, holds two of the many first years closer to him, one a Hufflepuff (Jamie) and the other a Ravenclaw (Kimmy) as they sob, begging him for their mothers. (He wishes for his mom too.) He wishes he could do more to comfort them, but can only wrap them tighter in his arms as the room shakes again. There are screams from some of the other kids, huddled together under blankets he brought down from the rooms. He catches the eye of one of the second years he tutors, Liza, and flashes her a weak grin, his eyes crinkling against his will when she beams back at him.

He’s proud of his kids, even though they’re only twelve and thirteen themselves. His kids, the ones he tutors, the ones who are in his study group assigned by Professor Snape before he became headmaster.

His kids, the ones who used to knock on his door late at night or early in the morning when they had been just first years themselves, crawling into his bed with faces wet with tears as they told him all about the nightmares they’d had.

His kids, who used to beg him for bedtime stories about life before the war, about his own first year at Hogwarts, about stories he and his friends. His kids, who call him “Loueee” like Harry did when he was younger, who aren’t afraid to still crawl into his lap when they’re scared or need something. The ones who love with their whole hearts, without abandon and would do anything and everything to keep each other and himself safe.

His kids.

They’re all scattered around the room, holding on tightly to other scared first years, doing their best to soothe them, even as their own eyes are wide with terror, even as they do their best to pretend that they’re not shaking too, to pretend that they’re not scared. They’re just kids themselves, babies really, shouldn’t have to be brave like they are, shouldn’t have to hold it together so the ones younger than them won’t be scared too. Louis’ heart clenches with love for his baby snakes, even as dark thoughts bounce around in his head.

He would be really fucking bitter about being locked in the dungeons with the rest of his house if he didn’t feel so fucking scared if he didn’t feel scared to the point where he couldn’t feel anything else. Honestly. it made sense for him to stay down here and not to be up where the fighting was. It made sense, he was one of the best duelers in his year, was second in DADA aside from Harry Potter himself, and he knew plenty of Dark Magic, though he didn’t go around using it very often. It hurt a little but it made sense.

All of his professors knew he wouldn’t hurt anyone, hell he cried the other day when he yelled at Lottie (his oldest, youngest sister, a second year Ravenclaw, too bright and smart for her own fucking good) and she cried. But it did make sense. He was one of the only seventh year Slytherins left in the castle and none of the professors could come down with the younger years, they needed to be up helping protect the castle.

Professor Sprout had patted his cheek as he walked past her, then pressed a kiss to the side of his head. “Do us proud,” she told him, her own eyes sad.

He was going to do his best, even if it meant being locked in the dungeons. He’s been at Hogwarts seven years so far, knows the Slytherin common room better than any of the younger years ever could. He knows all the hidden entrances and exits from sneaking around with his boys. He could probably, if it came down to it, get everyone down out of here safely without even having to use the main hallway.

So, it makes sense for Louis to be down with the first through fourth years who are left in the castle, who’s parents couldn’t or wouldn’t evacuate them before the battle began, doing his best to make them at ease. He’s Big Brother personified, loves his five younger siblings more than he could even begin to explain. He’s so good at comforting people, is thinking about going to Muggle university to make a life out of comforting each other, but.

But.

His boys are out there fighting. His boys are out there and they could die without Louis getting the chance to remind them how much he loves them, how much they mean to him. They could die without him getting a chance to say goodbye. They could die thinking that Louis is still mad at them, they could die thinking Louis wouldn’t die in their place if he could. His heart clenches and he stops breathing for a moment, trying to shake that thought from his head, pulling the two little girls closer in his arms, rocking them to comfort himself.

Harry. Fucking Harry, a Puffle through and through. He was sweet and everyone always underestimated him. He had secretly confided in Louis and Liam that the hat went back and forth between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw before accepting Harry’s decision. The boy was quick on his feet and a sneaky little bugger, though no one would change how he was for anything. He’s always been one of Louis’ best friends, is the thing, from the time six-year-old Louis and a newborn Lottie and their parents had moved in the house across the street from Harry and his family. There’s very little Louis doesn’t tell Harry, and in return, Harry tells him everything too.

Liam. Their own golden boy. If Harry Potter was the hero of the Gryffindor’s golden trio then Liam Payne was the hero of the inter house ot5. He wasn’t the oldest of the group (Louis himself) or the youngest (Harry), more like the forever middle child. He has always done his best, even as a first year, to make sure the other four boys are taken care of. That they’re safe. Liam, to most of their dismay, can also be the Hermione of their group. Study sessions, tutoring plans, getting all the homework done on time and perfect, so none of them fail a single class all year. He can be a little overbearing at times but he means well. And yeah okay, he gives the best cuddles, but don’t tell Harry Louis thinks so or Harry and Liam will have a pout off again and there won’t be any survivors.

Niall. Little Nialler, another Puffle. He was sunshine personified, loved by everyone and a laugh and smile that could lighten up the whole room no matter what the circumstances were. To the outside, it would appear that Niall never got angry, that he was always easy going and happy, that Niall never seemed to let anything or anyone get to him. But the boys knew better. They knew how fiercely protective he was of them, how he would kill anyone or anything that hurt them. Most of the school thought, and Niall did nothing to convince them otherwise, that Niall couldn’t survive ten minutes without eating anything. But the boys knew, they knew so well, that if one of them needed defending that Niall would drop everything, drop his food or his homework or even his friends outside of their group, to be there for them. Even if it meant missing sleep or a meal.

Zayn. Their only Ravenclaw of the bunch. Unfortunately, Zayn’s parents had pulled him and his two younger sisters early the year before and had placed them in another wizarding school, one that would be more open to their own religious beliefs. He had stayed out of England, had laid low until the past week when he heard that there was a battle coming to Hogwarts. He had shown up three days ago and just wouldn’t leave, spending the majority of his time curled up in the boy's laps, running his ink-stained fingers through their hair. He had let them all press kisses on his face, nose scrunching up in laughter as he squirmed half-heartedly to get away from them, but pressing kisses back. Zayn, with his dark eyes and sharp cheekbones and pouty lips, comes off to strangers as standoffish, or even worse, as uncaring but he loves his boys with his whole heart. He loved them enough to come back to the middle of the war and promised to never leave them again.

Not that Louis really believed in such things but Zayn told him, as the five of them curled up in Louis’ bed the night before (a tight fit, but since Louis was the only seventh year boy left, or at least the only seventh year boy unmarked, he managed to make it bigger, totally worth the magical exhaustion seeing Liam, Harry and Niall curled up like puppies in their sleep, limbs intertwined and all three heads trying to share a small pillow), that his new school was teaching him how to read the stars and the clouds to tell the future. Shyly Zayn had told him that apparently, he was really good at it, at least according to his professors, and the last couple of days the clouds above Hogwarts had been telling him that everything was going to be okay, couldn’t you hear it in the wind, Lou? Can’t you feel how the energy around us is charging us, encouraging us on?

“No, bro, I can’t hear it. The point is you can’t hear anything, everything has gone silent. It’s like the world around us knows death is coming, and there’s nothing we can do to stop it.” Louis had told him, more than a little serious. It was worth it, even if it meant Zayn shoved a pillow in his face and tried to smother him with it, waking the other three boys with his screaming laughs and pleads for mercy.

Now though, Louis feels like anything but laughing. In fact, if he wasn't faced with an army worth of first years he might even give in to the urge to cry.

“Lou?” Lottie, his oldest youngest sister, walks over, her face wet with tears. “We’re hungry, Lou.” Her bottom lip trembles. “We’re hungry and I want to go to the great hall and eat with my friends! I wanna eat with Liam!” Tears began to fall down her cheeks, even as she sniffled trying her best to get them to stop, trying her best to pretend that she was a big girl. She didn’t, doesn’t, want her big brother, her hero, to think she’s still a baby. But honestly, that’s what she is. Still a little kid, someone to be protected and shield, someone to be kept innocent for as long as she can be.

Louis’ sighs and stands up, helping the two girls surrounding him stand up too. “Can the three of you do a big job for me?” He tries to make his voice excited, tries to make the job seem more important than it really is, smiling a little when the three girls nod excitedly. “Can you go around and ask all the younger years what they’d like to eat and drink? Here,” he pulls some parchment out of his back pocket and three muggle pens, giving some to each girl. “Tell them they don’t have to eat if they don’t want to, okay? And feel free to ask someone else to help you if you need it, loves, I know this is a big job but I have total faith you guys can do it!”

“Okay, Louis!” All three of them beam up at him, seemed at ease with the way he seems so calm. They gather in a huddle for a second, before they scatter, each taking a corner of the room, working their way towards each other, though they soon add a couple more little girls to their group.

He watches them for a moment, heart feeling lighter than it has for the past few hours before he shakes himself. He heads across the common room, past the window that looks underneath the lake, grins weakly at the mermaids who wave at him, trying to ignore the way he can see fire reflected in the water even as deep down as they are, before coming face to face with the other upper Slytherins. The ones who are confirmed Death Eaters, and the ones who hold tight to their ideals.

He shifts his weight and clears his throat, getting their attention from the bubble they’re encased in, for everyone's protection. “Are any of you hungry? The little ones are and we have a House-elf for our use only.”

The majority of them glare back at him, angry. Maybe a little hurt too, that Louis would go against his house, that he would allow the professors to encase them like this, but one of the girls in the back lifts her hand. It’s Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy’s friend. She offers him a hesitant smile, slowly making her way to the front so she can see him more clearly.

“I uh, some water? Or some Pumpkin Juice?” She asks, nervous, shifting away from the boys on either side of her. “Just something to drink.”

Louis laughs, though not meanly. “I’d get you something stronger if I could. Let me see what I can do for you.” He nods and turns on his heel, heading back to where his sister and the other two girls are beaming at him.

“Thank you!” She calls to him and he waves at her over his shoulder, knowing if he turns around he will end up feeling sorry for her, and knowing if he ends up feeling sorry for her that he would try to help her out and it just. It’s just better for everyone if she stays in, her being nice to him or not.

“We did it, Louis!” Lottie tells him, bouncing excitedly. “We got what everyone wanted!” She settles down a little, a frown coming across her face. “Some of them didn’t want anything to eat.” She seems kind of upset about it, bottom lip sticking out.

One of the other girls, the Ravenclaw, smiles at her and pats her shoulder. “But we told them it was okay! If they wanted something to eat later they just need to tell us so we can tell you.” She shifts her weight. “Some of them didn’t know who you are so we told them to find the old guy with the beard.” (Louis has to do his best to hold a snort in, knowing that the little girl really wasn’t trying to be funny and that he would probably hurt her feelings if he laughed.)

The Hufflepuff steps forward, suddenly shy. “Did we do good?” She asks as all three turn to look up at him, their eyes wide and innocent.

“The three of you did a great job,” he assures them, getting down on his knees so he’s more at their height, not that he’s all that tall to begin with. “Did you write down what everyone wanted?”

They nod, shoving their parchment into his hands and he has to let out a loud laugh. Each girl had written down the student’s name, year and what they wanted to eat and drink. A little impressed with their organization he squeezes each of their shoulders as he struggles to get back to his feet.

At this moment he feels much older than his age but he still snaps his fingers, giving the three girls in front of him a soft smile as he reads out the orders to the house elf that appears beside him. Lottie doesn’t look too impressed by the poor creature but the other two girls are wide eyed, trying to hide behind each other.

Must be muggle borns then, or half-bloods like Lottie.

When he’s finished reading off the list he thanks the house elf, who tells him it's named Lofa and watches as it disappears in the blink of an eye. The three girls squeak in excitement, huddling close together.

Louis just has to shake his head, turning his focus on the others in the room around them. “What do you girls say, hm? How about we get everyone together and have a story time or something?”

Lottie raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him. “Louis, we’re eleven. We don’t have story time anymore.”

He shrugs. “Fine, I guess I could go up to my room and bring down my year one text books and assign study groups?”

“No! Story time is fine!” The Hufflepuff nods quickly, slapping one of her hands across the Ravenclaw’s mouth and glaring at Lottie when it looks like she’s going to protest again.

“Go gather everyone, loves. I’m going to go get a book from the bookcase.”

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Ten minutes later, and with all the food that had been asked for passed out to their rightful owners, all the first through third years are curled up on the black rug sat his feet, watching him with wide eyes. It would be a little unnerving if Louis wasn’t used to be the center of attention during footie matches over the summer, and from playing pick-up games on Hogwarts grounds when it’s nice outside.

“Are you really going to read to us?” One of the first year Slytherins ask, his eyes wide.

“I am.” Louis nods, opening the book in his lap. “We’re going to read a muggle book called Anne of Green Gables.” He side eyes the same boy who had spoken before. “It’s not as girly as it sounds, I promise. If you guys don’t enjoy it after I finish chapter three we can find something else to do, okay? I’ll find you something to color or something, I don’t know.”

No one else opens their mouth to argue so Louis begins to read, “Mrs. Rachel Lynde lived just where the Avonlea main road dipped down into a little hollow, fringed with alders and ladies' eardrops, and traversed by a brook that had its source away back in the woods of the old Cuthbert place; it was reputed to be an intricate, headlong brook in its earlier course through those woods, with dark secrets of pool and cascade; but by the time it reached Lynde's Hollow it was a quiet, well-conducted little stream, for not even a brook could run past Mrs. Rachel Lynde's door without due regard for decency and decorum; it probably was conscious that Mrs. Rachel was sitting at her door, keeping a sharp eye on everything that passed, from brooks and children up, and that if she noticed anything odd or out of place she would never rest until she had ferreted out the whys and wherefores thereof.”

When he looks up about halfway through chapter two everyone appears to be hanging on to his every word, even the older Slytherins being held in the bubble across the room. He feels a little smug as he goes back to reading, trying not to think about his boys that are still fighting outside.

He knows, even as he turns the page, that his boys are going to do their best to make it back to him. He has to hold on to that. He has to hold it together for the ones around him.

He just has to.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Hogwarts Front Hall, 11:45 PM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Up out of the dungeons, on the stairs, before you go into the front hall Liam Payne grabs hold of one of the Hufflepuffs running past him, holding tight to his jacket. The boy looks startled, and like he’s being prepared to be attacked or killed until he sees who exactly has a hold of him, then he relaxes into the hold.

“Have you seen Harry? Harry Styles?” He asks, desperately. He knows Louis is down in the dungeons which makes him safe. Zayn is in the Great Hall with Niall who had managed to get hit by a cutting spell (Zayn was thoroughly unimpressed but promised to do his best to heal him if he would just fucking sit still long enough for him to do so). The only one unaccounted for was Harry.

Harry Styles, not Harry Potter. Though Liam wasn’t sure where Harry Potter was either. He smacked his inner dialogue and shook it off. Now was not the time to let his thought go on a tangent.

“I think he was outside with Hagrid?” The Hufflepuff offered. “They’re trying to work to get the giants to come to our side peacefully or something.” The boy shook Liam off, before drawing his wand out and running the opposite direction. “Hope you find him!” He shouts over his shoulder.

Liam offers a weak smile. He hopes he finds him too.

He shakes the thought off and heads towards the doors to exit the castle, maybe the other boy was right. Maybe Harry is outside helping Hagrid. Maybe this was all just a big joke on Liam to turn him gray.

Maybe Liam needed to get a fucking grip on his life.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

11:50 PM, Hogwarts Great Hall

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

“Ow! You fucking cow hoe!” Niall pulls away from Zayn’s wand, which is carefully tracing across the deepest cuts on his arm. “That fucking hurts!” He pushes Zayn’s wand away from his arm and rubs the spot he had been trying to stitch together, hisses when he touches a tender spot.

“Mr. Horan!” One of the professor’s looks up from where she’s also tending to the wounded. “I understand that the younger years are down in the dungeons but please! Try to control your tongue. I am not above taking away house points, even if we’re in the middle of a war.” She threatens.

Niall offers her a smile as he shrugs, whistling through his teeth when it pulls at the skin Zayn had managed to heal. “Sorry Professor, it’s the Irish in me.”

She laughs even as she rolls her eyes, but she smacks his cheek with affection when she walks past them, moving down the row to heal others. “Nice job you’re doing there, Mr. Malik. Perhaps you should consider healing as a profession.”

“Uh, thank you?” He tries to tell her, but she’s already moved down, her focus on the next student and is no longer paying them any more attention.

“Niall for the love of Merlin stay still!” He hisses when Niall shifts again as he’s tracing his wand up and down Niall’s arm where he is cut the deepest.

“I would if you’d stop hurting me! I’m not even hurt that bad.” He pouts. “It’s not like I was bleeding out or about to die or anything!”

Zayn pauses the movement of his wand, turning disbelieving eyes onto Niall. “You know,” he says slowly, his eyes and voice dark, and deeper than usual, “you know that we all love you. I can’t believe that you would say something like that.” He shakes his head and takes a step back. “All I could see was you getting hit with a curse and then you’re bleeding. Bleeding, Niall. And I promised Louis that as the second oldest I would do everything in my power to make sure the four of us lived to see him after all of this mess.

“And you know, seeing you bleeding I wondered if I was going to break that promise. I wondered if you’d manage to live or if I would have to watch you die and not be able to do anything about it. I wondered if I would have to be the one to tell Louis that you died, I wondered if I would have to tell your mom you died and if I would have to hold them both while they cried.” He takes another step back, his head shaking even as tears fill his eyes. “And to hear that you think you mean so little to us....” A tear rolls down his cheek and he does nothing to remove it.

Niall reaches out to touch him but Zayn takes another step back. “Zee, babe, I’m-” but Zayn was gone, disappearing into the sea of people running around the Great Hall, leaving Niall to collapse onto the bench he had been sitting on.

Suddenly he doesn’t feel like doing much of anything.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Slytherin Common Room, a little before midnight

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

The shuddering outside of the common room door has Louis sitting up straighter. Most of the first and second years had fallen asleep the longer he had read, which had him a little relieved honestly. It was getting late, and who knew how much longer the battle would last. Now that he’s alone with his thoughts he has to wonder if the battle will ever end at all, even though he knows that at some point, even if it’s just to call an end to the battle for a moment to collect the dead, that they can’t fight forever.

He knows everyone above, even the Dark Lord, will get tired at some point. He knows that eventually, they’ll have to stop to eat or drink something or risk dying by not doing so. He knows that at some point will have to come and let them out.

If the group in the dungeons would even get out alive.

Louis tries to shake that thought before he dwells on it too long, knowing deep down that his boys would do everything they could to get him and the others out. If they managed to survive the battle themselves that was. He knows that the parents of the kids in the room with him must care about them on some level, knows that even if his boys died his grandmother would come looking for him and Lottie, leaving the other three girls in the hands of his dad Mark.

He knows someone, eventually, will come to get them, he just doesn’t know the time frame for when. Or who it will be.

He’s honestly more than a little scared that it won’t be the light side who comes for them, that the Death Eaters will find their way down and kill him, kill the little ones under his eye and let the Death Eaters in training out to go help more of Louis’ classmates. He’s scared to think of how many, or who might already be dead.

He’s scared to think that Harry Potter, the only hope for their world (and how sad is it really? That a seventeen-year-old is expected to save their world when the elderly wizards couldn’t do it the first time around), could be dead at the moment too. That Harry Potter could be dead and that there would be no more reason to fight, that the battle was lost before it began, and that he would have to say goodbye to his sister, that he would have to explain to her and the youngest three that they would never get to have a wand or go to Hogwarts.

He’s shaken out of his quiet musings when there’s a loud crumbling sound outside the common room door, then a giant boom. The floor shakes beneath their feet for five, ten, fifteen, twenty seconds before it stops, startling most of the sleeping students awake. They all look around, eyes wide before they start sobbing.

It feels a lot like an earthquake, like the one Louis’ went through the one time he visited his cousins in California when he was thirteen. But it wasn’t an earthquake.

So Louis doesn’t blame them he kind of feels like crying too.

Because he knows what just happened outside the door, and it’s not good. Still, he gets off the couch and gets on the floor, opening his arms. He knows, realistically, he can’t comfort all 400 of them by himself. He knows that he there’s some that he may accidentally overlook and he knows his arms and lap is only so big. But he still does his best to hold as many of them as he can as close to his body, rocking them.

After a few minutes, he shoos them off and opens his arms to another group. And on it goes for the next hour or so, until everyone has mostly stopped crying.

“Okay loves,” he says, staying on the ground in front of the couch, “I imagine this is kind of scary, huh?” There’s a murmur from the kids, a lot of them holding hands with their friends. “And I imagine that you think you’re old enough and brave enough to fight.”

“I know I am!” A Gryffindor first year stands up and strikes a pose, wand held dramatically in the air, making Louis laugh and shakes his head, motioning the boy to sit back down, and watches as he does so with a big pout.

“I imagine you think you’re old enough and brave enough to fight,” he repeats, “but the truth is there’s adults out there who have graduated Hogwarts and who know a lot more about magic then you do. I know they know a lot more than I do and I’m old,” he says the last part teasingly, hoping that it might make some of them giggle or smile.

“Are we going to die?” His little Ravenclaw from before asks, her voice trembling.

“No love.” He raises his chin, determinedly staring them all down. “I promise I’m not going to let anything happen to any of you, okay? If someone wants to hurt any of you they’ll have to go through me first.”

The youngest ones settle at that, most laying back down on the makeshift beds Louis had transfigured for them, even as the older ones eye him. They know there’s only one Louis and that there will probably be more than one person trying to break in, they know he can’t fight them all of by himself. Still, after they all stare at him for a moment, none of them blinking, they settle back down on their makeshift beds too, most of them curling around the first and second years, each thinking to themselves that if it came down to it they would help Louis fight, that they would do anything to protect the kind man who vowed to protect them, even though he didn’t know most of them by name.

Louis waits until the last one is asleep before he heads back over to the sphere holding the other “evil” Slytherins. He eyes them for a moment, weary, before deciding to focus his attention on Pansy, who has made her way to the front again, her hand against the bubble as if she wants to reach out and comfort him.

“The ceiling outside the common room door collapsed.” He says, soft enough that if any of the younger kids wake up they couldn’t hear him, but loud enough all the ones in the sphere could. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen now, or how we’re going to get out. I just thought you’d want to know.” He takes a step back, hesitant to turn his back on them even though he knows their magic won’t escape the magic bubble they’re in.

“Louis?” Pansy says softly, almost to the point Louis doesn’t hear her. He’s not sure what she has to say to him, not sure he wants to know, but still, he turns again and gives her all of his attention, which seems to unnerve her a little, but she manages to swallow it down and give him a small smile. “Louis.... I just wanted to let you know you’re good with them. I don’t know what they would have done if you hadn’t been here.”

He nods his thanks, feeling strangely lost for words, before making his way back over to his spot on the couch. He feels exhausted and wired at the same time but knows he needs to try and sleep. Who knows what the next hours or days will hold, and he’s going to need all of his energy if he plans to keep up with the kids.

He lets his eyes close, debating on if he should set an alarm for himself or not if it would be worth the risk of it waking up the kids and maybe making them cry. In the end he decides against it, in the end, he decides that one of them will wake him up if they need something so he lets himself relax into an exhausted sleep.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Outside the castle, a little before midnight

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Liam still hasn’t found Harry, and he’s getting worried. Honestly, before the battle started, even as Louis was shooting them a longing look over his shoulder as he helped lead the rest of the Slytherins down to the dungeons, he had told the others that they had to stick together, at least two of them in a group.

That way when the battle was over there wouldn’t be any need to look for one another. That way, if they got badly injured, they wouldn’t die alone.

That way, when Louis was finally freed, they’d be able to tell him that they stuck together. That they had been safe the whole time. His heart hurts thinking about how Louis is all alone in the dungeons, no one there to comfort him like the four of them have. Liam thinks about Louis, and about the kind of person he is, and just knows that the older boy has first years on his lap and all around him as he does his best to comfort, all while ignoring his own need to be comforted. He knows that Louis is probably down in the dungeon, ignoring his own needs to make sure everyone else's are being met.

He shakes his head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. When this battle is over, when the Dark Lord is defeated, they will have all the time in the world to cuddle with Louis. They’ll have all the time in the world to hold him close and reassure him that they’re all okay. They’ll make him sit in the kitchens, Niall kola wrapped around him as they make him eat and drink since he probably didn’t do much of either locked down in the dungeons watching the kids. They’ll spend hours in bed, each taking turns being the big spoon to his little as they whisper reassurances in his ear about how they’re okay, how everything is going to be okay now, how he doesn’t have to be afraid, that they’re all there.

Because they will be.

The five of them are going to make it through this damn battle alive, even if it’s the last thing Liam does at this damn school.

Now if only he could find Harry....

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Other side of Hagrid’s Hut, a little before midnight

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Harry, not that anyone knows, is out on the field watching part of the forest burn. He’s at a loss, at this moment. He can’t decide what to do, where to go. He can’t decide what side to fight for, even though he knows somewhere in his heart that he can’t really go against his friends, that he couldn’t really fight for a side that wanted his boys dead.

He knows he’s seen, that his biological father has been captured. He knows Des will try to claim that he’s under a potion, that the Dark Lord has him under a spell, that he isn’t really a Death Eater, that he’s never really killed anyone but Harry knows, he can just feel it in his bones that it will be a lie.

Des has known what he was doing the whole time.

Des Styles, a Pureblood with a family dating back almost as far as the Potters or Malfoys, had married Harry’s Muggleborn mom and divorced her soon after Harry’s fifth birthday when it became clear the Gemma, Harry’s older sister, wasn’t going to have any magic in her at all. Of course, Gemma was fine with that, happy about it even considering she could continue muggle school with her best friends and that she wouldn’t have to go away nine or more months of the year, but to Des, who prided himself on having a fully magical family, well.

One day Des was there and the next he was gone and that was that. And let’s just say Harry didn’t have any contact with Des until his fourth year of Hogwarts (this past year) when Des barged in on his potions lesson, taking him out of school for the weekend (to the horror of his mom) and showing him off to all of his friends, boasting about how powerful Harry was, and about what a great job Des had done in raising him.

Harry had wanted to protest about how Des didn’t know him at all, and how dare he take credit for the kind of man Harry was but he knew better. He could see the mark under Des’ shirt sleeve, could tell that it wasn’t fresh, that it had to have been there for a while. And Harry knew, then, that he couldn’t say anything at all if he wanted to stay alive.

His mom, on the other hand, is the toughest witch he knows. Muggleborn or not she raised Gemma and himself on wizarding traditions of old, made sure they used their manners and respect their elders. But at the same time, they lived in a small muggle house in a small muggle town with just a few other wizarding families in it. (This is, of course, where he first met Louis.). He knows and has always known, that his mom loves him and his sister more than anything. He has never questioned that, not even when she married his muggle stepfather, Robin.

His mom had done her best to give him the best of both worlds, to make sure he considered both worlds home. His mom had done her best to make sure he stayed in contact with Des’ parents, to let them know she didn’t blame them for the way Des had treated her or Gemma. She worked two jobs at times, before she married Robin, to make sure he could go to Hogwarts and afford books and robes and even have money for the weekends so he could hang out with friends.

And she did it all, never once complaining about how hard a life she had. She always did it with a smile, leaving for work during the summer months with a kiss to Harry’s forehead and a promise about how much she loved him.

So now Harry is torn between what he knows is right and what is expected of him. His father, unknown to any of his friends or professors, had been demanding he take the Dark Mark for over a year now, telling him he could forge papers to make it seem like he too was a Pureblood and that he, a charming lad like he is, would quickly make his way up the Dark Lord’s ranks.

Harry had resisted, telling his father that he was only a fifth year, and really, he needed to finish school before he committed himself to anything or anyone. He didn’t tell his father about the relationship he was in, he didn’t tell his father much of anything after that, to be honest, completely stopped responding to his owls.

Harry’s torn now, watching more Death Eaters make their way into the castle. He can either help his biological father, who he still loves even though he’s fucked up big time, or he can stand with his mom and his best friends who have always been there for him and has loved him no matter what, even that one time he accidentally caught the potion lab on fire his second year and Professor Snape had yelled at him.

It should be an easy decision. It should be a no-brainer.

He should walk back up to the castle, go down to the dungeons and stand guard protecting the younger years with Louis. He should find his other boys and kiss their cheeks and be happy they’re still alive. He should go find his mom, who is also fighting, and tell her how much he loves her and how thankful he is that she’s his mom. He should tell her that he doesn’t blame her for anything. He should tell her who he’s dating and thank her for loving them too. He should hex down all the Death Eaters he comes across. He should make himself visible again and fight like he has been trained to do.

He should.

But he doesn’t.

Instead, he allows his feet to take him towards Hagrid’s hut, into the forest to where the flames burn the brightest. He allows himself to stop thinking, to stop feeling for a minute. He lets himself go numb.

He welcomes the flames with open arms, like an old friend long forgotten but none the less still welcome.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Outside the castle, 12:02 am

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Liam isn’t going to give up, he won’t. He refuses to.

He’s going to find Harry and drag him back into the castle, even if he has to drag him by the ear.

Even if he has to throw the giant man child over his shoulder and carry him in like a sack of potatoes.

He owes it to himself. He owes it to Niall, to Zayn and most of all he owes it to Louis, who loves the five of them more than he probably loves life itself.

And so help him when he finds Harry and after this battle is over and the war is won, Harry is going to find himself enjoying a nice long session over Liam’s knee.

If he ever finds Harry.

No, Liam refuses to let himself think like that. He just has to think like Harry would do what Harry would be doing right now. Which, if he’s thinking like Harry, means that he’s probably somewhere he can watch the forest animals, somewhere he can make sure none of the ones not fighting gets hurts.

The quidditch pitch!

Even as his feet take him running in that direction, Liam hopes he’s right. He doesn’t know where else to go if he doesn’t find Harry there.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Slytherin Common rooms, 12:00 am

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Another loud boom outside the common room wakes him. He tries to sit up, even as he’s blinking sleep out of his eyes, a little disoriented. He’s a little confused when he can’t sit up completely before he looks down at his body.

There’s four Slytherin and Gryffindor first years sleeping on top of him cuddled together in their sleep. They’re all clutching hands, one of them has her thumb stuck in her mouth, arms criss crossed to hold tightly onto the hand beside her, cuddling the boy on her other side like he’s her own personal stuffed animal. It would be cute if it was happening in any other circumstances then the ones they were under. Even still, he has to take a moment to appreciate the picture they present.

“Loves,” he shakes their shoulders, “you need to let me up for a moment.” They all whine, clinging more tightly to his legs. “Seriously, you need to get up on I’m going to pee on you.” He doesn’t really need to pee, needs a moment to collect himself more than anything, but doesn’t know how else to get them up and out of the way.

They all are off of him in a heartbeat, Louis’ blinking at the place they had just been, confused. “Thank you.” He shakes his head and tries to wake the rest of the way up before he stands and pets the first years on the head. “Go cuddle with your friends, loves. I’ll be right back.”

He does go to the bathroom but he stalls for as long as he can, hoping the kids will be asleep when he comes back. He carefully splashes some water on his face and pushes his fringe off his forehead before staring himself down in the mirror.

“You are going to do everything you have to. You are going to get these kids out of here alive. You are not going to freak out, you have to stay calm for them.” He nods at himself, ignoring the way his own lip trembles, ignores the way his hands shake. He does his best to blink away the tears he knows are filling his eyes.

He has a job to do.

He shakes it off, all of it. He stops thinking about his boys, he stops thinking about the under years who need him to be strong. He stops thinking about the other Slytherins who are locked down.

He stops thinking about it all.

He throws more water on his face and heads to the common room door.

It’s truth time.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

The day of the battle of Hogwarts, 12:05 AM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Harry finds himself quietly walking back to the castle, again visible to the humans around him, shoulders drawn in tight and a frown set deep on his face. He hopes the battle is over, knows that it’s unlikely, though he knows no matter who wins he is going to have his heart broken, and that he’s going to have dead friends and maybe even family on both sides. He hopes, maybe even prays to the muggle God, that his boys are okay but knows that the odds aren’t in their favor, knows that there’s no way all five of them could honestly expect to live to see dawn.

Knows that chances are that someone, or more than someone, he knows is dead.

Even though most of the school might disagree, Harry isn’t stupid or naive. He isn’t innocent either.

Harry knows how war works, he knows that there are going to be injuries and death on both sides. He knows that there is going to be prisoners of war. He knows because it’s all happened in the past year. Maybe some of his friends in his house had their heads in the clouds, ignoring the world that was going on around them but Harry had been paying attention.

Sure, keeping his head down and doing his best to stay out of trouble but he still paid attention. He listened in to secret news reports (not so secret, to be fair), helped with the student army that Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, and Ginny Weasley ran. He turned in all of his work on time, never talked back to his teachers and spent most of his time in his dorm room or walking the grounds but he helped out as much as he good, and he kept his ears open to the whispers that echoed in the hall.

Most people don’t think of him as a threat, most people don’t even seem to notice he’s there so they freely talk about things. Harry knows the best gossip right as it happens, he knows who is sleeping with who, who is dating who, who is going to break up with who. He knew that the Dark Lord was coming, probably even earlier than the professors did. He knew that the older sisters of his dorm mate was pregnant and didn’t want to keep the baby, even though her parents begged her to reconsider.

He hears all the good things that happen. But he hears all the bad things that happen too, and those are the things that keep him up at night. He hears the things that, in any other circumstances, would give teenage boys nightmares. The things that make him want to take his boys and run to the muggle world, the things that make him want to erase all five of their memories about their years at Hogwarts, erase all the things that have happened except what the five of them mean to each other.

But he can’t.

Still.

He can dream about doing it, but he can’t.

He knows the things that Louis has been forced to do during detentions, he knows that Louis probably is never going to be okay again, that he may never be the Louis from the last five years. He knows, knows alright, that it’s going to take Louis a long time to learn to trust, to love, to laugh and smile again.

He knows that Niall is hiding things, things no one knows about, behind his laughter and smiles. He knows that Niall won’t tell any of the boys if it’s something serious, that he would rather keep it to himself then worry them because he loves them and he’s loyal, their Niall, but stubborn as a mule. 

Harry knows Niall had seen things, knew that he and Louis both had cast the Cruciatus curse on students and has had it cast on them too. He knows that there are other Dark curses the two have been forced to use this year, that if the ministry wasn’t under the Dark Lord’s control they both would probably be arrested and interrogated but that they would both lie if they could, would do anything and everything in their power to protect their school and their friends.

He knows.

He knows better than anyone else.

They don’t talk about it but he knows two of his boys, two of the only humans he loves with his whole heart, are suffering. They’re hurting and there’s nothing Harry can do to help them. That there is nothing that they would let him do to help them, and that hurts more than anything.

And in this moment he’s so angry with himself, for even thinking about joining the Death Eaters in battle. He knows, beyond a shadow of doubt, that he would kill or be killed for his boys. For his family. He knows he would go to death for his school, but more than that he would die for the four boys who hold his whole heart in their hands.

He just knows.

Suddenly the ground begins shaking underneath him, startling him out of his dark thoughts as he finally looks up and takes in everything around him. He’s closer to the school than he had been, but still a decent distance away. Still, the ground shakes harder.

Harry’s golden boot clad feet knocked out from under him. He dimly, in some part of his brain, notices that those around him have been knocked down too, even professors, even those who fought in the first war. They’re all on the ground, they all have had the wind knocked out of them.

He manages to sit upright, grimly noting that those around him are doing it too, but falls back onto his back in shock. He can’t breathe. He can’t see or hear anything, vomit rising in his throat.

The part of the castle in front of the Great Lake is collapsed, and it’s taken Harry’s heart with it.

He struggles to his feet and runs, stumbling and tripping on legs that are still a little too long, a little too uncoordinated for his body. He leans his body against a tree for a moment to catch his breath before he takes off again, pushing people out of his way and casting the darkest spells he knows at Death Eaters who try to stop him.

He pushes away one of his housemates who tries to grab hold of his shirt sleeve, the other boy yelling something about Liam but he doesn’t care. He can’t focus. He can’t do anything but run.

Nothing is going to keep him away from his boys now.

Not when Louis needs him.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Day of the battle of Hogwarts, 1:20 AM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Niall sits up from where he’s still laying on the bench in the Great Hall, heart in his throat as Percy Weasley enters, his face wet with tears and arms full of a red-headed body. He has to take a moment to blink, to convince himself he really is seeing what he is before he shakes his head.

“No.” He whispers it, not even knowing he’s said it out loud. He begs Merlin that it isn’t Ron, knowing how much Ron means to Harry Potter. Niall knows the relationship the Golden Trio has is different than the relationship he has with his boys but he knows, he knows, that if something happens to Ron that Harry Potter won’t survive it.

He stands up and walks over, heart in his throat, not really sure if he wants to know. The entire Weasley family is crying, he notes in an out of body kind of way. The majority of them are cuddled together, holding each other tight as they sob but he notices that Ginny is standing off to the side, her own arms wrapped tight around herself in an attempt at comforting herself. He wraps her in a hug, lets her cry into his shoulder suddenly feeling numb all over as he stares into the dead face of Fred Weasley.

He does his best to comfort her, does his best to not watch as George is brought in. Does his best to ignore the way Mrs. Weasley collapses on the floor beside George, both of them crying their hearts out, some part of him wondering if you could cry yourself to death if you could die from a broken heart. He does his best to not notice Percy, who is seated on a bench close to his family, watching his family and yet seemingly not actually seeing them.

He wishes there was more he could do for them. He wishes he could make it all better, that he could bring Fred back to life. He wishes that he could offer them some kind words or something but Niall has nothing. There’s nothing he can say to make any of this better, not when he doesn’t know how his own boys are.

Not when more and more dead are being brought in.

Not when the Dark Lord is still demanding Harry be brought out to him.

There’s nothing he can do to make any of this okay. And Niall does his best to be okay with that. Does his best to know that he can’t be the persona he usually puts on, that he can’t do anything to make anyone feel better.

War is cruel. Death is even crueler.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

"You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured."

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Day of the battle of Hogwarts, 1:50 AM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Liam wanders around the school and around the castle grounds, not even sure where he’s going anymore. He’s given up on trying to find Harry, has himself half convinced that the younger boy is among the dead. Even though Liam hasn’t seen him, in his help in gathering the dead bodies, that isn’t saying much. There are so many fires going and the castle grounds are so big, who knows if they ever will know how many people died, or who all are in the count. He knows that fighting had taken place on bridges, that there’s no way of knowing who all had fallen over if there are any injured or dead down there.

He does his best to be okay with that, with the never really knowing.

But he’s lost count, at this point, of the dead, numbly helping professors bring the bodies into the Great Hall, gently laying them down on a white tarp, helping them note down known names so the families could be notified as soon as possible. He tells himself he isn’t allowed to feel, doesn’t let himself think besides the small amount of his brain power that it takes to write.

Professor Remus Lupin.

His wife of such a short time, Nymphadora Tonks, who never failed to make everyone laugh.

(He grimly thinks to himself about the baby they’ve left behind, wonders what’s going to happen to him. He knows Harry Potter was named the baby’s godfather, knows mostly because none of the Weasleys know how to keep a secret, Ginny whispering it to their study group one night in the common room, bragging about what a cute baby Teddy was.)

He doesn’t think he can get any number until he sees who’s next in the long line of bodies. He has to take a moment to blink back tears, to take a deep breath and fight the urge to be sick. To make himself go back to being numb, knowing there is no other way he could get through the rest of the day.

Lavender Brown, Ron’s ex-girlfriend. A little annoying sometimes but had an amazing and kind heart. 

Collin Creevery, who was too young to be fighting in the first place but somehow managed to escape being forced down to the dungeons.

He has to blink back tears when it’s whispered down the line that Fred Weasley has been brought in dead too. All of the workers go silent, none of them seemingly knowing how to move, or how to continue.

Liam pulls himself together first, shaking his arms out. He excuses himself, grimly nodding when Professor Sprout pats him on the shoulder and thanks him for all the hard work he’s been doing. He brushes past people, not even looking at faces, not caring that he’s being rude.

Liam finds himself a corner and allows himself to cry.

He knew, of course, he knew, that people would die. He knew that the odds were that even one of the five of them would die but knowing it and seeing it are two different things. Two cruel things.

Niall finds him shortly there after, gently getting on his knees beside him. He doesn’t say anything, just watches Liam sob into his own forearm, Niall’s own eyes filling with tears before he pulls Liam’s head to his shoulder.

The two cry together. For the lives that had been lost, in fear that the other three may be dead even as they sit in the Great Hall. They cry from their fear, from their anger.

But most of all they cry to cleanse themselves from their own feelings.

They fall asleep there, wrapped around each other on the hard floor of the Great Hall, an adult sadly shaking their head when they walk past and covering the two with their robe. 

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Day of the battle of Hogwarts, 2:14 AM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

A hold your fire has been called and yet Zayn is still watching over his shoulder, not sure who is his friend and who wants him dead anymore. Everyone is starting to blur together, Death Eaters no longer robed or masked, students who are fighting for the Dark Lord without being marked.

Zayn shakes, his breath rattling in his chest. If he wasn’t so good at repressing his feelings, at letting himself go numb, he would be in the middle of the biggest panic attack of his life. There wouldn’t be enough medicine in the muggle world to keep him from having a break down right now if he wasn’t so good at repressing. At forgetting.

But he manages at pressing it down and keeps trying to move forward.

He shouldn’t have left Niall alone in the Great Hall. He’s mad at himself about it, he’s mad at Niall for pressing him to this point, mad at Louis for letting the professors make him go to the dungeons, mad at Liam for being the one to look for Harry even though both Zayn and Niall had offered to go with him as soon as Niall was healed. He’s even mad at Harry for disappearing into thin air before one of them could go with him, to help protect him.

He’s mad at the Dark Lord for breaking his family apart. He’s mad that the adults expect Harry Potter to save them, mad that Harry hasn’t managed to kill the Dark Lord yet, mad at his parents for pulling him away from his friends the school year before, mad at himself for not studying more, for not being a better duelist.

He wishes he could just spell all of his boys to him, floo them to his room at his new school and that they’d cuddle under his blankets, wrapped around each other and exchanging kisses until the sun rises bright into the sky. He wishes he could have made the boys leave Hogwarts before the battle began, good feeling about them all surviving be damned.

He wishes he could turn around and just go home.

Home to his mom and baba, where they’d both hold him and tell him everything would be okay, even if it was a lie.

But he can’t turn around now. He has to believe that Niall is in safe hands up above, that Liam and Harry have found each other. He has to believe that the three of them are safe. His heart hurts thinking about it so he tries to turn off his thoughts, tries to instead focus all of his attention on making his way to Louis.

He’s doing his best to make his way down to the Slytherin common room, blasting rocks and rubble that are on the ground before him. It’s slow going and he has to stop himself from wondering if Louis and the kids he was watching are even still alive. He makes himself start to hum some nonsense song he heard the last time he was in the Muggle world, does his best not to think about anything at all.

Except.

The whole staircase leading down to the dungeons and most of the floor above has collapsed and Zayn is left to wonder if the ceiling of the Slytherin common room managed to hold up. He tries not to think what Louis might have done in his final moments and tries even harder not to think about how many kids might be down there dead. He shakes the thoughts off again.

“Zayn!” A hand comes down hard on his shoulder, pulling him away from the collapsed staircase, collapsing into a hard chest.

He whirls around, wand raised to attack even as he’s pulling away. He almost drops his wand in shock. “Harry?!”

“Hey, babe.” Harry offers him a sheepish smile, hair a mess around his face and covered in soot, some of the tips of his hair are singed and he has some burns covering his arms but he’s still the best thing Zayn has seen in hours.

“I’m so glad you’re alive!” He whispers, throwing himself at Harry, wrapping his arms tight around his neck. “I can’t- there’s.” He gestures to the mess that is the staircase and blinks back tears. “I can’t get down to Louis.”

“I can help you, babe” Harry assures him, voice deep.

“Louis’ dead! Louis’ dead and I never got to say goodbye!” With that, all the emotions Zayn had been holding back, every bad thought he’s had since arriving back in Scotland escapes him. Harry doesn’t say a word as Zayn gets his shirt wet with tears, just continues to rock him back and forth, his own face wet.

They stand there, uncaring about how much time passes and just let themselves feel, only pulling apart a little to exchange desperate kisses, hands tight in each others hair.

They’re both alive.

They’re both alive and mostly okay, and that’s something to celebrate.

In a moment they’ll have to pull apart, they’ll have to turn their attention back on trying to get down to Louis when they’ve found Louis then they will have to turn their attention back on trying to find Liam and Niall.

But right now, when they would both rather not feel anything at all when everything around them feels fake the love the two of them share for each other is real. The stinging bites Harry leaves against Zayn’s neck is real, the rocks that scratch against Harry’s back as Zayn rocks his thigh against Harry’s hard on.

Those are all real.

And those are the things that they both need to hold on to when everything else around them seems like it will slip out of their hands if given half a chance.

 

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Day of the battle of Hogwarts, 2:25 AM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Pansy Parkinson is not a kind person, by her own admission, and by the admission of those closest to her and to those who only knew her in passing. She can be cruel, her favorite means of conversing is sarcastic remarks and witty (and mean) comebacks. She has no time for the younger years or for anyone outside of her circle of friends. She took the Dark Mark at her father’s demands, married one of her father’s friends over the summer and had spent most of the school year boasting about how rich her new husband is, all the while telling herself that she really isn’t as sad as she is.

Before today she could have told you how many times she had spoken to Louis Tomlinson while counting on one hand, maybe two. Before today she probably couldn’t have told you what he looked like, even though they’ve shared the same house for the last seven years, even though their moms both ran in the same circle of friends. She knows, for certain, that as children, he attended the same playgroup meetings that she and Draco and Blaise did but if memory serves her right he spent more time cuddling his little sister, Lottie, then he did playing with them or abusing House Elfs (like Draco). She also knows for certain, that even back then, the majority of the pureblood families thought that Louis was too soft, that Jay and Troy needed to be tougher with him, to make him a better man.

Sure, he’s a Pureblood, of old money and had a higher social standing than she did. And sure, maybe his mom had been a powerful woman who hadn’t taken any shit for anyone, and sure maybe Jay had owned one of the best potion shops in England but his sisters are half-bloods. He’s best friends with a Gryffindor for fuck's sake. He’s too soft.

Pansy isn’t exactly sure how he got into Slytherin, or if he even actually belongs in the house. She has wondered, at points in the past when she even considered him worthy of some of her attention, if his parents didn’t just pay off Dumbledore if his sorting wasn’t just a fluke by old money. Now that she’s older she knows better, knows that a sorting can’t be bought but she still has to question just how he managed to become a snake.

Again, Pansy isn’t a nice person. She’s mean, sharp-tongued and would rather kill a man where he stood then admit that she was wrong. She has no time for those she thinks are below her.

Yet she finds herself watching Louis tonight. She watches the way he interacts with the younger students, how he smiles at them when they talk to him, even though it’s evident to her that he’s scared out of his mind too. She watches the way he holds the crying kids in his lap, the way he sneakily persuades the first years to go to bed. She sees how he outwits the Ravenclaw younger years, how he manages to get them curled up on transfigured beds on the common room floor, how he somehow manages a laugh for them as he passes out books.

She watches the way he orders hot chocolate and holds the baby Gryffindors when they wake up from a nightmare. She watches the way he watches out the window, staring at what little you can see of the castle grounds from down below. She watches the flames dance on his face, lit from the flames that are burning outside. She watches the way he blinks back tears, how he shakes himself before turning around and giving all of himself to the kids again.

She watches the way he braces himself against the wall when the ground beneath them and above them shakes, again and again, watches the way he seems to consider throwing himself on top of as many as the younger years as he can before he shakes himself out of it. Even still, she watches as he transfigures more couch cushions and pillows and gently places them on top of kids as he walks by, doing his best to keep his footsteps light to not wake any of the kids.

Pansy is not a nice person. Everyone would tell you so if she didn’t tell you first. She’s cold hearted, she has no feelings for anyone or anything. She doesn’t care about anyone. Everyone would tell you so, even those she considered close friends.

But she finds herself hoping to Merlin that Louis’ friends are alive. She remembers from early the year before when her mom sent her an Owl, the ink smeared and the parchment wet with her mom’s tears that Jay, Louis’ mom, had died in a Death Eater attack. She remembers thinking about how unfair it was, Mrs. Tomlinson was one of the nicest people around. She had six kids to take care of and as far as Pansy knew wasn’t even actively fighting for the light, though she wasn’t fighting for the dark either. 

She remembers thinking how unfair it was that someone would take away a baby’s mom, remembering that Louis had two three-year-old sisters, and an eight-year-old sister at home. She remembers wondering why anyone would want to leave magical kids orphaned, half-blooded brats or not.

In some part of her, she knows she’s watched Louis since then, has quietly watched the way he has carried himself, quietly admired how he’s handled himself the past year, the way that he didn’t pull away from his friends. She’s watched the way that he still managed to turn his homework in on time, made it to every single match, even those Slytherin didn’t play in. She watched the way he was always at meals, always accessible to the younger year snakes, constantly reminding them that he had an open door policy that they were free to use whenever. She watched the way he was there for his (she mentally sneers) half blood half sister, the first year that has been watching him the whole night.

She knows, now, in some part of her, that Louis is a much better man than any of the ones in the bubble with her. She knows that he’s a much better man than her hopefully dead husband would ever be.

She knows.

But now, watching as he contemplates the common room door she finds herself holding her breath. She wants to call out to him, to beg him not to do it but she finds that she can’t get the words out, that she can’t get enough air into her lungs. She clenches her hands into fists, closes her eyes as tightly as she can but she has to look. She has to see.

She helplessly watches as he gets the door to open, watches as if in slow motion the rocks fall and crush him beneath their weight. She watches, wide-eyed, as the younger years all seem to wake at once, watches the way they look around and start to cry for Louis, then cries harder when they notice that Louis is underneath the rubble.

She has to do something.

She can’t just stand here and watch these babies cry. She can’t be the reason Louis Tomlinson, sunshine personified of their house, dies. She can’t be.

But Pansy also can’t be the hero.

In this moment she has a decision to make.

Pansy can turn her back on her family, on the Dark Lord, and can do everything in her power to make sure Louis lives to see another day.

Or she can pretend she’s asleep, can pretend that she doesn’t hear or see anything and allow everyone outside of the bubble she and the others are in, die.

It isn’t a hard decision.

She wills her magic to help her, wills everything inside herself to work with her and not against her. She thinks about how dirty she felt the first time her twenty year older husband had touched her, she thinks about the way that Louis treats his boys compared to how her husband has treated her. She thinks about her younger sister, still at home and innocent to the war. She thinks about Draco, who is out looking for Potter right now to confess his love before either of them are captured or killed. She thinks about life, and how happy everyone will finally be when the war is done and won.

And when she steps forward, hand on the wall of the bubble, the bubble lets her through. It glows and stings her eyes, making her blink to be able to see again. But she’s out, she’s free. She can help.

“Thank you.” She whispers to it, pressing a gentle hand to its wall. “I promise I’m going to hurt, not help.”

She then turns her attention back to the going ons in the room, which has collapsed into chaos. First years are running everywhere, sobbing, managing to trip each other and get more and more kids hurt in the process. The older kids from the other houses are trying to calm them down, without much luck. The third and fourth year Slytherins are standing around where Louis is pinned, talking amongst themselves on how best to free him, though none seem really sure what to do or how to go about doing it..

So she whistles, as loud as she can.

Everything stops. All attention turns to her.

“For those of you who don’t know me my name is Pansy, I’m a friend of Louis.” She gives them a tight smile, side eyeing Louis’ younger sister who is glaring at her, clearly not liking what Pansy was saying. “I’m going to do my best to make sure we all get out of here alive, okay?”

“Even Louis?” Lottie asks, her lip trembling, leaning harder against one of the second year Slytherins who has her wrapped in his arms.

“Even Louis.” She offers her a smile, feeling sorry for the girl now, taking back every mean thought she has ever had about her.

“Good, h- he’s the best big brother.” She dissolves into tears, turning to sob into her friend’s shoulder.

Pansy is at a loss, she’s not very good with tears, even when the tears are from her own sister. She’s not very good at tears, period. Or good at all with tears. The freak her out and make her break out in hives. So she ignores it, clapping her hands. “Here’s what we’re going to do.”

She makes all of the first and second years go up to the dorm rooms, girls on the left and boys on the right, firmly but gently insisting they try to sleep some, reminding them that the morning will be hard. She then reassures Lottie that she’s going to do her best to help Louis and that she’ll send someone up, or that she will come and get her if something changes in the meantime.

When she’s left alone with the third and fourth years she closes her eyes and makes herself count to ten, trying to calm herself down. When it doesn’t work she does it a second time. Then a third.

She opens her eyes and levels them with a look, harder than the one she sent to the younger kids.

“It isn’t good, is it?” A Hufflepuff fourth year asks nervously, casting a look on Louis.

“No,” Pansy agrees, grim. “It isn’t. We are all going to have to work together if we want to get him out from under there, and even more so if we want to free a way to get out so we can get him medical help.”

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Battle of Hogwarts, 2:30 am

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

They’ve managed to stop kissing, now they stand holding each other tightly, swaying in a mock slow dance, even though the only music playing is the soundtrack of the battle around them.

Liam finds them like that, the sound of him bursting into tears what finally pulls them apart. The other boy is pale, his eyes red. Behind him is Niall, also pale (well, paler than usual). They both appear shaken, Niall clinging to Liam’s hand and eyes mostly vacant.

Harry and Zayn pull apart, except for their hands, and pull the other two into a sort of circle, and they cling to each other, bodies shaking. Zayn coos at Niall, trying to get him to respond, trying to get him to respond back. Harry and Liam knock their foreheads together, exchanging soft kisses even as they whisper to each other reassurances of how glad the other is okay.

The ground shakes again and Niall whimpers, clinging tighter to the other three, even as the roof above them cracks. Liam pushes the other three behind him, before throwing his body on top of theirs. He does his best to ignore the way Niall starts sobbing underneath them, his claustrophobia making the horrible day even worse for him. He ignores the way he can feel Harry clinging to his muggle cross necklace, and how he can hear Zayn praying under his breath.

He ignores it all and wills his magic to protect them, to keep the four of them safe.

But more than that he wills the building to keep standing so they don’t collapse on top of Louis and the kids, killing them where they stand.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Three days before the battle of Hogwarts, Slytherin Seventh year dorm room

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Sometimes the fact that Liam could hold Louis down was the biggest turn on, for both of them really. Other times, like today, when Liam has Louis pressed against the bed hard enough that Louis can’t move, can’t even take a breath from how much he’s feeling, not so much. It’s still hot, both of them hard against Louis’ thigh, grinding together, but Louis would really love the use of his hands right now, would really love to be able to pull Liam’s hair.

Not to say that Liam wouldn’t stop if Louis asked because he would. Liam stops the second he thinks he’s hurting Louis or any of the other boys. He, more than anyone, is aware of how strong he is and how easily it would be to hurt someone.

Liam is their gentle, well not giant exactly because Louis has seen giants and Liam comes nowhere close to being like them, but he’s their gentle hero, (which doesn’t have the same ring as a gentle giant, but you do with what you can). Nothing can get Louis harder than seeing Liam hold a baby or a puppy.

Except maybe now, Louis’ wrists wrapped in Liam’s huge hands while Liam works his way down Louis' neck, leaving marks behind as he goes, still grinding down on Louis as hard as he can.

“You know I love you, Lou?” He asks, pressing his weight down harder against Louis’. His voice sounds shaky and when Louis finally opens his eyes he finds that Liam’s are full of tears.

“Of course I do,” Louis replies, fighting to get his hands free.

Liam lets his hands go, though doesn’t move to get off of him. “You have to know how important you are,” he insists, urgently.

Louis tries to laugh it off, “Trust me, babe, my head is big enough. I think I know how important to the world I am.”

Liam rolls off of him unamused. Laying side by side makes it that much more obvious how much taller Liam is compared to Louis, how much larger his hands are when he wraps his thumb around the back of Louis’ hand.

“You aren’t allowed to die,” Liam tells him, suddenly dead serious. ”You don’t understand,” Liam shakes his head, hand tight against Louis’ own, “you are this force to be destroyed by. You are the sun, the earth, the moon even, and everything in life revolves around you.”

Louis blinks, throat dry. He knows his boys love him, even Zayn who is fuck knows where. He knows because they don’t let him go a day without Harry, Niall, and Liam reminding him how important he is. Even Zayn sends him twelve page letters once (or twice) a week in which he usually rambles about life at his new school, how he misses the boys and then ends the letter with six paragraphs about how he misses Louis the most (usually a cheeky ‘don’t let your arse forget about me’ near the end) before ending the letter with a quote from a random muggle book, a different one each letter.

So Louis knows, okay? He knows the other boys think the sun shines out of his ass, that they’d do anything and everything Louis asked them to do, even if it meant one of them dying instead of him.

So he nods, and cuddles in close to Liam’s chest. “I promise babe,” he tells him, pressing a kiss to Liam’s birthmark. “I promise I won’t leave you.”

Liam, finally completely overcome with emotion, allows himself to cry against Louis’ shoulder. Louis isn’t sure where any of this came from, or why Liam is suddenly so scared to lose him, but clings to the younger man anyways, and does his best to comfort him life he would one of his younger sisters, pulling an unresisting Liam on top of him and rocking them back and forth.

Liam finally cries himself to sleep, the past few months catching up to him all at once. He’s a hard weight against Louis when he’s asleep like this, and Louis needs to pee worse then anything but he doesn’t dare disturb the younger man, so he forces his own eyes closed.

When Niall and Harry find them a few hours later Liam has somehow managed to swap them around, with Louis on top. They’re both still fast asleep, holding each other's hands tightly.

The youngest two decide, in that moment to leave them, pressing a kiss to each of their foreheads. It’s the first real peaceful sleep Liam has had since the fucked up year began. 

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Battle of Hogwarts, dungeons, 3:15 am

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

They haven’t made much progress, to be honest. Most of the small rocks and other items have been pushed out of the way, or at least off of Tomlinson, off of Louis she corrects herself. A lot of the third years look like they feel as defeated as she does, even as the fourth years square up and raise their wands again, doing their best to work together to get the largest stone off of Louis.

Pansy shakes her head, panting. It’s not going to work. Or, it might work if they had older witches and wizards with them, but she knows that with just herself and a bunch of underage students there’s no way Louis is going to make it out of the dungeon alive.

She looks at the bubble where the older Slytherins are being kept and bites her lip. It’s not worth it, she tells herself, freeing them isn’t worth the punishment she might face if the professors find out that she was the one who did it.

But at the same time, there’s no way they can leave the dungeons, no way they can cause any trouble or kill anyone with Louis still trapped like he is.

It isn’t a hard choice.

“Listen up,” she tells them, glaring while looking them all individually in the eye, “you are going to help me free Tomlinson so I don’t have to tell his sister that he died. You are going to help us get all the rocks out of the way so the younger years can be free when the battle is over, and if you behave maybe I’ll let you stay out.”

“I don’t have to listen to you!” Protests one of the sixth year boys, sending his own glare her way.

“Oh but you do,” she purrs, “because unlike others in here I can and have used the unforgivable. And you know what? If the Dark Lord wins that means I win his favor. And if the Dark Lord loses I will be going to jail anyways for being married to a Death Eater so I have nothing to lose.

“Now I’m going to pop this bubble and you will all help me get Tomlinson out of here alive.”

There is a murmur of agreement before she shoots sparks out of her wand, letting the bubble pop before she sends them another glare. “Now get to work. We have lives to save.”

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Hogwarts, Hufflepuff Common room, a few weeks before the Battle of Hogwarts

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Sometimes Louis had a hard time remembering he was supposed to be the wise one in their relationship. Since he, Liam and Zayn are over the legal age and had been for a long ass time, it made things frustrating for Niall and Harry, and occasionally Louis had to remind himself that cool down periods could be used and are incredibly helpful.

Which is why now, making out with Harry in the Hufflepuff common room, he tries to remind himself that he can’t let this go any further than it already is. He tries to remind himself to stand strong against Harry’s charming smile and dimples and the twinkle in his eyes and his pretty curls and- yeah okay, Louis is pretty much putty in Harry’s hands, even as he’s panting and trying to pull away.

And yeah okay that’s Harry’s hands on his ass, a little more won’t hurt anything.

Harry’s hand squeezes down hard and Louis has to bite back a whine, grinding down against Harry’s thigh. It feels good and he chases the high, forgetting where he is, or not caring more likely, and he can tell Harry isn’t far behind him. He tugs the handful of hair he has wrapped around his fist and Harry breaks away from his mouth to let out a deep moan, before attaching his mouth to the side of Louis’ neck.

Louis tilts it, more then willing to give him more room to work, proud to show off the marks his boys leave on him, still grinding down on Harry’s thigh underneath him when there's a throat clearing behind them, and it sounds more unamused than a throat clearing has the right to sound. Louis pulls away with a moan, that sound is more than a little familiar to him so he sends Niall a cheeky grin. Niall shoots him an unimpressed look back.

“Really, in the common room you two? You couldn’t even make it to bed?” Niall shoots a look down at both of their obvious boners, and then at the first years sitting five feet away from them, oblivious to their surroundings.

Harry laughs and runs a hand through his hair, lips shiny and a little breathless. Looking at him Louis feels a little breathless himself but he makes himself focus back on Niall, who smirks at him knowingly before plopping himself down and making himself at home on Louis’ lap. Harry groans as the additional weight has Louis grinding against his dick in an agonizing manner. Louis’ dick tries to take interest in Niall’s ass against him but he closes his eyes and wills it to go away, tries to make himself seem normal and unaffected.

“Was there something you needed Nialler?” Louis asked him, brushing some of the boy’s blonde hair off his forehead. “I thought you had study group for another hour.” Niall was needing help with Potions and a Ravenclaw seventh year had taken a bunch of younger years under her wing, tutoring them in her own spare time.

Niall shrugs. “I got hungry and decided to come find you.”

Louis groans, throwing his head back against Harry’s shoulder. They look strange, tangled together like this, but the school is used to it. They’ve also learned to ignore any yelling that Louis does which is why no one looks up when Louis’ voice is raised too loud for Niall being in his lap.

“Niall! You have exams this year! Exams you need to PASS to be able to get a job in the future. You can’t just get out of study groups.”

Niall blinks and shrugs again, rubbing an ear to try and get the ringing from Louis screech out of it. “You do,” he points out, “and besides I’d rather be here and making out with the two of you than studying.”

Harry snorts out a laugh, even as Louis is trying to hide a pleased grin, Harry saying, “It isn’t really fair to Liam if the three of us are getting off without him is it?”

Niall hops up and pulls Louis up behind him. “Well let’s go find Liam then.” He takes off running, dragging a laughing Louis behind him, Harry using his long legs to keep up.

The whole common room watches the chaos they leave behind them in confusion, not exactly sure what had just happened.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Battle of Hogwarts, nearing 3:30 am

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Everything is still around them, the battle apparently over for now, and they’re the only ones still on the floor. The four of them, for the most part, have gotten their bearings and have calmed down. They’ve broken out of their huddle, not sure how to move forward without accidentally killing someone.

“It would be a bad idea to just blast our way through,” Harry says thoughtfully, head tilted to the side as if that would make the pile of rocks look different.

“It would make getting down to the dungeons easier but we would probably end up killing someone, or making the castle fall down around us.” Zayn says in agreement, lips pursed. He’s pale, and visibly shaking but does his best to hold himself together anyway.

“We could just pick up the rocks one at a time and move them out of the way,” Liam says. He knows he sounds defeated, and tired, but he doesn’t really see any other way to get them out of this mess.

“That would take too long, and the rubble could fall and bury us under it on this side.” Harry points out, finally allowing himself to sit down on the hard ground for a good sulk. 

“Hello? Is someone there?” It echoes around, slightly muffled behind the rubble, but was still fairly understandable.

Liam perks up, “Yes! We can hear you.”

“We have most of the rocks moved out of the way on this side, but the one in front of us is too big, do you think you can move it?”

“Yes, of course! Is everyone okay down there?”

There’s a beat of silence and then, “It would be best if you worked as fast as you could.” Another beat of silence and, “I’ve got all of the younger years back in the dorm rooms and I just sent the fourth and fifth years back to what remains of the common room, if we work together maybe we can get a path clear faster.”

The four exchange glances and Harry shrugs in a ‘what do we have to lose,’ kind of way. Zayn mutters something under his breath but steps back and widens his stance, distributes his weight equally and nods to let Liam know he was ready whenever the other boy was.

“Okay, we’re ready on this end, are you?”

“Ready.”

Niall counts them off, “One. Two. Three.” And then bright red light floods the room before the explosion knocks them off their feet. When the room clears a hole has appeared, a pale and shaken Pansy Parkinson in the middle. Her hair and eyes are wild but she beams at them, trying to seem as if she wasn’t as affected by it as everyone else.

“Well, are you boys coming or not?” She says it with a smirk, though it was clear her heart wasn’t in it.

They share glances between themselves before Liam shrugs, and follow her, having to duck down to fit, but determined to make it to Louis.

Even if it was the last thing they ever did.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Three days before the battle of Hogwarts, Hufflepuff common room

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

There are so many stares, mostly from the younger years, but Louis is used to it, mostly. These stares aren’t cruel, more curious and confused than anything. He knows their relationship is unusual, even more so when you consider all five of them are dating, but worst off that none of them are the same age or house, really. The five of them love each other, though, more then is probably healthy.

They’re taking it slow, though. Zayn isn’t on the continent anymore, much less at the same school and Harry and Niall are both underage and illegal, so so fucking illegal for Louis and Liam that he really should keep his hands to himself.

Except it’s hard to remember this as Liam bites down on the side of his neck and pulls his hair, Louis is defenseless to do anything but close his eyes and whimper. He tilts his head, more then willing to let Liam have more skin to work with. He’s on Liam’s lap, his own hands wrapped in Liam’s curls, even as he does his best to ignore the hard on under his ass.

“Really boys, in the middle of the fucking common room?” Niall’s comment makes Louis jump, and the bruise that the younger boy was leaving stings from where Liam had bitten down hard.

Liam pulls away with a laugh, reaching a hand up to pull Niall into a short kiss too. Louis isn’t as amused, hiding his face in Liam’s neck, where it smells the most like home, feeling more than hearing Liam’s response to Niall when the two break their kiss apart. “Louis’ scared that if I get him completely alone that I’ll jump him and never let him leave the bed.”

Niall snorts, dropping down on Louis’ lap. “I mean if I got Louis alone I wouldn’t let him leave the bed, have you seen the ass on you, babe?” He reaches for a handful, pouting when Louis smacks it away.

Louis groans, both from Niall’s weight and from the conversation. “We really shouldn’t be having this conversation in front of the first years, boys.”

Liam removes his hands from Louis’ ass, unashamed. “They’ve got to learn the birds and the bees at some point, Niall.”

“It is to be hoped that it won’t be from me, have some self-respect Liam James, Merlin.” Louis wiggles out from under the two of them, putting his hands on his hips.

“I don’t know babe, you seem like you need some help there.” Niall wiggles his eyebrows, hungrily eying Louis’ crotch.

“If I need help it won’t be from you,” Louis says, a little pissed but mostly turned on. “I’m going to go find Harry and the two of us are going to jack each other off like bunnies while you’re stuck with each other. And no, you can’t fucking watch.”

The two of them watch Louis’ ass as he walks away and out of the common room before turning and smirking at each other. It takes them a minute and a half to get to Liam’s bed in their dorm room and even less time for the clothes to come off.

Birds and the bees indeed.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Slytherin Common Room, 4:45 am

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

It isn’t as bad as it could have been, to be fair, Liam thinks to himself. The common room is damaged beyond repair and the professors are going to have a lot of work ahead of them to get the castle back into shape for the next school year but really, it isn’t as bad as it could have been.

And then he sees Louis and he can physically feel his heart shatter.

Harry makes a low, wounded, sound behind him and he and Niall collapse onto Zayn, who’s face is ashen but manages to hold all three of their body weight up.

Louis is crumbled in a little ball on the floor, though Pansy had done her best to remove most of the rocks and other random shreds off of him. It’s obvious, even to Liam who isn’t trained in medicine, that Louis has broken too many bones to even safely consider moving him.

There’s a wounded sound from somewhere in the room like an animal has been injured and needs help. He should. He should really try to help fix that.

“Liam,” Zayn says from behind him, his voice pained, and when Liam turns around to face his he discovers that it was him making the wounded noises.

Pansy walks up beside him, her own face pale. They’re not friends, or haven’t been friends in a long time but Liam’s eldest sister used to hang around with Pansy’s older sister so they know of each other which is the only reason Liam doesn’t punch her when she gently suggests, “Maybe it would be a good idea to send those two,” she nods at Harry and Niall, “back outside until we figure out how we are going to get him out of here.”

Niall’s eyes flash even as he jerks himself out of Zayn’s arms. “I’m not going anywhere,” he tells them, “now how the fuck are we going to get Lou out of here?”

“I think I have an idea,” Harry says, walking forward and pulling Zayn along behind him. “It’s going to be complicated, but it’s not like we can hurt him anymore then he already is.”

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Somewhere in the place between life and death

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

The sun doesn’t really set, where they are. The sun goes down and it comes right back up, the sky never really fully getting dark. It’s peaceful and warm, so opposite of the Scotland that Louis left behind, where it is no doubt raining with fires from the battle still raging all around.

It’s been quiet between the two of them for a while now, just enjoying the peace between them, and enjoying being in each other’s presence for the first time in over a year. The fact is, there’s so much to say, so much Louis wishes he could tell her but he doesn’t know where to begin.

So he doesn’t.

In silence they remain, wrapped around each other, watching as the sun sets and comes back up in a loop, both entertaining their own thoughts. Louis can’t find himself thinking about anything outside of his mom, even though he knows there are people he should be worried about or for but he can’t find it within himself to think about just exactly who that should, or could, be.

The sun is warm on his skin, the grass and his mom’s clothes soft under his head (though the grass is a little prickly he finds that he doesn’t mind), and he lets himself relax and clothes his eyes. He is almost dosing, feeling like it’s safe to do so, when the silence is finally broken, making him blink his eyes open sleepily.

“You have a choice to make, darling.” Jay tells him softly, her hands going through his hair again. The thing is, Jay is never hard on her children, always kind and gentle, though firm on certain topics. She’s learned, by now, to let her children make their own mistakes. But this, this is important. This matters. This, Louis has to understand will have an impact on his future in more ways than one.

“I don’t,” he replied stubbornly. “This is just a dream, it’s not real. It’s all happening in my head, I’m going to wake up and you’re going to be gone again.” He sniffles, trying to force back tears he can feel filling his eyes. “That means I don’t have to make a choice at all, and even if I did I would pick to stay asleep with you.”

Jay is quiet a moment. “Just because it is happening in your head doesn’t mean it isn’t real. Those we love never really leave us.” She pulls a tangle out of his hair. “You can feel that you can feel me. We can touch, we can communicate. That’s real too. My love for you is real.”

Louis lets out a sob, hiding his face behind his hands, completely overwhelmed. His mom really is there with him, he isn’t dreaming it at all. If this isn’t a dream, then he doesn’t have to leave. He can stay with his mom forever, and he can be happy. The past year has been so hard and now that he’s with his mom again maybe everything will be easy again, maybe he can learn how to make peace with himself.

But Jay isn’t going to let him.

“Now darling, you have a choice to make,” she tells him again, gentler this time. “You can decide to stay with me, or you can go back to your boys. You can go back and fight and have the amazing life you are meant to have.”

“I don’t want to leave you, mommy. You need me.” Louis says, shaking his head. He holds on to her tighter, knuckles white from how hard his hands are clenched on to her top.

“I don’t need you, baby, I am so happy here. Everything I could need, or do need, is there for me without me even having to ask for it. I can’t be hurt here, or get sick, and I can wait here for you and your sisters if I want to, or come back when it’s finally your time to join me.” she says softly.

“You need me more than I need you, baby, and I don’t want you to leave me either, but sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. Sometimes the things we do that are the hardest are the most rewarding, in the end.”

Louis cries some more at that, knowing that his mom speaks some truth, even if it’s painful to hear. He wants to curl up and cling to her, wants to hide himself away so he doesn’t have to listen to her any longer but she won’t let him do either.

“You don’t have to leave if you don’t want to, baby,” she reminds him. “If you really want to you can stay here with me, if that’s what would make you happiest. If you decide to stay I won’t fight you, love. I’ll walk you over to the other side myself, hold your hand the whole way.

“But you can’t stay because that’s what you think I want for you, Louis. You can’t decide to stay because it will be the easiest option, or because you don’t want to leave me alone. If you decide to stay you stay because it’s what will make you the happiest, and because it’s what will bring you the most peace in the world.”

She shook her head when Louis opened his mouth to protest, and continued on. “If you decide to stay you have to think about how you are never going to see your sisters again, and how much they love you and they need you, Lou. They’ve already lost me, what are they going to do if they lose you too?”

“They have our dad!”

“Yes, but I’m sure you know that Mark was considering leaving, Lou. Our marriage hadn’t been happy in a long time, love. He was going to take a job in France when you got out of school this summer, we had it planned ever before my death.”

“No, no dad wouldn’t do that.”

She shrugs and smiles sadly. “Believe what you want, love, you can’t lie here.” She shakes her head and gets back to the topic at hand.

“You have to think about your sister's, love. You have to think about how you are never going to finish school, or go to uni or get married or have kids of your own.” She tilts her head. “And you have to think about how you will never see your boys again while you are alive. You have to think about how much they are going to hurt, knowing that you died and there was nothing they could do to change the outcome.”

“Stop.”

Jay pushes on. “You have to think about how without you, they might just drift apart and that everything that was meant to happen, everything that was written in the stars before any of us were born, won’t happen. You have to think about how this is going to have an impact on the rest of the world.”

“I don’t care about the rest of the world!” Louis pushes away from her and paces away, hands running through his hair. “Do you think the rest of the world cared when you died and I had to spend months flooing home to comfort Daisy and Phoebe while they cried for you because dad was at work? Do you think the rest of the world cares that we’re in the middle of a war and need their help?” He wipes away tears. “Do you think the rest of the world, hell even my own damn professors, care that I haven’t been okay in a long time?”

“Sometimes life sucks,” Jay says in agreement.

“Sometimes?” Louis screams, the sound echoing around them. He pants, trying to catch his breath, even as he watches birds scatter in the sky, terrified from the loud noise.

“Okay, a lot of the time life sucks. But love, you can’t blame everyone in the whole world for how bad life treats you.”

“I can’t?” Louis is angry now, angrier than he’s been in a long time. “Then how come the whole Death Eater's think can blame muggle-borns for their fucked up views? How come I get locked up with a bunch of Death Eater wanna be’s just because of what House I’m in?”

Jay shrugs. “I don’t know love.”

“This isn’t fucking fair. They shouldn’t have killed you. It should have been me.” Even as he says it, he knows he’s made his choice.

“I love you, baby. I hope you never forget that.”

“I love you too, mommy.”

Everything goes white again, blinding and bright. Louis is forced to close his eyes if only so he doesn’t fall down into the white hell that surrounds him. Everything is silent, even as everything starts rushing back. Harry. Liam. Zayn. Niall.

His boys.

Wish a gasp he wakes up, though he’s not really awake.

That can wait.

For now, he falls into a sleep that’s an actual sleep, can feel Niall and Liam clinging to his hands as Liam sings, “Hey Jude” under his breath. The real world can wait until tomorrow.

For now, he sleeps.

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Nine years later

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

When Louis graduated Hogwarts his professors told him that the real world wasn’t as forgiving as the world inside of Hogwarts was, that things didn’t happen the way they did in school, that his boss wouldn’t hand him the answers to life questions on a platter. He had kind of blinked at them, unamused as he remembered the hell that his seven years at Hogwarts had been, and then the extra year he had attended so he could officially work in the wizarding world if he so decided to do so. In that moment he decided that his professors must be high on some magical weed, got mad that they didn’t share with him, and moved on with life.

But the real world, he’s found at least the muggle world, is more accepting than anyone could have prepared him for. The real world, where he lives now, treats him better than the world while he was in school ever did.

And honestly? The past five years have probably been the best time of his life, he can honestly say he’s happier now than he’s ever been before.

The five of them are still together, as much as it surprised them and everyone else around them. They’re married to each other as of November two years before, the other four proposing to Louis right before Louis graduated with a degree in psychology and then almost immediately followed by a wedding.

Louis works in the muggle world, in London, with magical muggle-born kids who need help from a therapist getting used to transitioning from the muggle world to the wizarding world. He sees the occasional Squib, though since the war has ended the wizarding world has gotten more accepting and most baby Squibs have accepting parents, and couldn’t be more happy with his practice.

He’s considering going back to school and getting a second degree in something, just in case he ever decides to leave his practice or do something else with his life, but right now, at this moment, he’s happier than he’s ever been.

His dad did end up leaving in the end, signing away his rights to Louis’ sisters to Louis, who takes care of them and does his best to be the best big brother during summer holidays and Christmas break. The youngest two, Lottie has told him, consider him more of a dad then Mark. He would adopt them if he thought they would be okay with it, but Mark comes to visit sometimes and Louis knows how important having a real parent is.

Zayn, who graduated Hogwarts the same year as Louis, is working in the muggle world too, though he hadn’t gone to university. He made an, uh, honest living telling muggles their fortune. Turns out the lessons he’d had at his other school came in handy for something. Every once and awhile when it was just he and Louis he’d quietly mention maybe going to school to become a Healer, but hadn’t taken any steps to do so yet, he told Louis sometimes that he had flashbacks to the war and having to try and heal friends and seeing all the dead he couldn’t do anything for, and that he wasn’t sure he could go through something like that again. Louis decided to stop pressuring him.

Liam, who graduated the year after them, had decided to start up a day care, and he couldn’t be happier. Out of the five of them, Liam might have been hit the hardest by the war. It wasn’t until weeks after Louis had woken up that the Owl reached them. Liam’s parents, his sisters and his two-year-old niece had all died in a car accident, muggles all of them and still gone too soon.

Not even magical and the five of them still lost them.

Liam almost didn’t survive it.

The others had to force him to school and had to write his notes for him, and even after Louis graduated he stayed around an extra year to make sure Liam didn’t relapse into his depression. But the summer after Zayn and Louis graduated the five had spent in the muggle world with Louis’ sisters and Liam found a reason to live again, never happier than when he was surrounded by Phoebe and Daisy and their friends.

So now he’s working at a daycare for the wizarding families in their village and on his days off he volunteers at the orphanage for kids left behind during the war and he’s happier than he’s ever been.

Niall and Harry graduated the year after Liam.

Niall decided to go to school to become a teacher after all he saw in the war. After one of the professors threw herself in front of him to take the full brunt of a curse meant for him he knew he wanted to have the same kind of affect, someone, to be able to save someone like that someday too. Niall wasn’t sure he wanted to ever work at Hogwarts (having to go back to attend school was hard enough), but right now getting his masters in Potions was good enough for him.

The war changed him too, you know? He didn’t laugh as easily. His smile didn’t reach his eyes as much as it used to. But some days, some days the old Niall still shined through.

And Harry?

Harry’s father was arrested for his war crimes and for having the Dark Mark, and shortly after Louis woke up Harry was taken in for questioning. The boys didn’t see him for a week and a half, despite their insistence that whatever they thought Harry had done he was innocent of. The courts didn’t believe them.

It finally took a professor going in and demanding that all of the students, whether they attended Hogwarts the year of the battle or not, be given truth serum that the truth came out. It was hard for all of them to listen to Harry be questioned, even harder for them to listen to him admitting that he thought about fighting on the Dark Lord’s side until he decided against it in the end.

Once free Harry told them he wanted to become a lawyer, wizarding or muggle it didn’t matter, he just didn’t want what happened to him to happen to anyone else. So, he finished uni and went to law school and last Louis heard he’s still top of his class, not that there was any doubt.

Louis unlocks their front door with a smile, bracing for impact. He’s late tonight and he knows there’s going to be a bunch of tiny feet running at him.

“Dada!” Six different voices scream out as soon as he walks through the door, little arms wrapping around his legs.

He laughs and does his best to shut the door and lock it while hugging each kid to the best of his ability. “Hi little babes, miss dada today?”

Tori sighs from her place wrapped around Louis’ left leg. “Daddy was so boring today, dada.” Jessica, Kayla, and Logan nodding behind her. They’re all wrapped around his legs, making it hard to move but Louis wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.

Louis laughs even as he struggles to walk down the hall, calling out, “Hear that Hazza love? Our darling daughter called you boring!”

Harry’s head appeared around the corner, a fake frown on his face. “Daddy’s not boring is he?” He asks the other five kids, doing his best to pretend to cry.

Ryan, their oldest, leaves Louis and wraps himself around Harry and looks up at him, “Of course not daddy, you’re my favorite daddy,” he reassures him, “even if you talk really, really slow sometimes.” He blinks innocently up at Harry. “Sometimes I get bored listening to you talk, but I pretend to agree with you anyways.”

Louis has to laugh at the outraged look on Harry’s face before he leans over to press one, two, three kisses on his lips, then one on his temple. “Long day at the office babe?” Louis does his best to shake off the kids, more than ready to have at least one of his husbands in his arms.

Harry goes willingly, collapsing against him. “The longest, and the kids have been terrors since I got home.” Harry is still in law school but spends his afternoons being an intern at one of the local law offices until the oldest kids get out of school, then he comes home and is a full-time dad.

Louis laughs and presses another kiss to the side of his head. “The others aren’t home yet,” he asks, both of them flinching a little when a crash comes from the living room.

“Nothing brokeded!” Megan yells and Louis sighs, knowing he’s going to have to go fix whatever it is at some point.

“I don’t care if nothing broke! All of you need to go to your rooms until Dada and Daddy come and make sure the room is okay.” They both listen as little feet run up the stairs, arguments breaking out between the kids and giggles echoing off the walls before Louis turns all his attention back on Harry.

“No, we’re the only ones home with the terrors,” he agrees. “Niall had to go to Hogwarts today,” Harry ticks off on his fingers, “Zayn is visiting Mum and baba so he’ll be back late tonight, probably past the kids' bedtime, and Liam's.” Harry sighs.

Their youngest, Julia, pips up from her place in her high chair. “Pop pop found ‘nother baby he wants to bring home,” she smiles like the bombshell she just dropped didn’t take Louis’ world out from under him.

She looks like Zayn, like baba, and she knows it, blinking her long lashes up at him even as she says, “Dada can I haves more Goldfish?”

He numbly gets the snack out of the counter and pours some on her high chair tray, mind working faster than he can keep up with.

It’s not that they haven’t discussed adding more kids to their family, all five of them had agreed before getting married that they wanted a full house, wanted to give Molly Weasley a run for her money. Five parents mean five times the love, and it’s not like they’re struggling for money or rooms to house the kids.

But they have seven under the age of seven in the house right now, Julia the youngest at the moment, and if you add Daisy and Phoebe to the mix that makes nine kids Louis has to figure out how to take care of and raise to be functioning member of society.

“Well then,” Louis says forcing a smile on and ignoring the worried look Harry throws him, “Pop pop better have a good excuse for why he didn’t call Dada before he left the office today, huh baby girl?” He bops her gently on the nose before shaking his dark thoughts off.

“What’s for dinner then, dear Hazza?”

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Tomlinson House, 11:00 PM

^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^* ^*

Zayn tries to be quiet when he comes in, knowing that the slightest sound could wake the kids. He sneaks into the living room and grabs some crackers before heading up the stairs to check on the kids before he goes to join his husbands in bed.

Except the girls’ bedroom is empty.

And when he checks the room across the hall it’s empty too.

It’s not unusual for one or two of their kids to end up in bed with them but for all seven of them to join them in bed on the same night is unheard of, and he is immediately concerned that something has happened, though he tries to shake it off. He knows he would have seen it, always sees it before bad things happen anymore, but this is his family. You can’t expect to be rational when it comes to family.

When he opens his bedroom door (having to use his wand on the side to get it to unlock, used to prevent curious children from coming in while their fathers are busy), he finds Harry balls deep in Niall while Louis is being fucked by Liam, Louis and Niall making out between the two other men, Louis letting out little pleased whines when Niall pulls away to leave dark marks down his neck.

Zayn is even more confused than he was to start with.

“Uh, what’s going on?” He asks, dropping his bag by the door, pushing it closed behind him with his foot. “Where're the kids?”

Louis pulls away from Niall with a gasp, reaching a hand out to pull Zayn down on the bed between them. “Mommy Anne took them for the weekend,” he explains, ripping Zayn’s shirt in half, “and that means we have the next forty eight hours to fuck like animals until they get back, and you love,” he leans up as far as he can with Liam still in him, “are really fucking overdressed.”

Zayn doesn’t protest even though he does laugh as he struggles to pull off his pants, “You know I’d do anything for you, babe.” he tells Louis, “but I really, really would love Liam to fuck me next.”

Louis’ eyes darken. “I’d love to see that,” he says, his voice deep, laughing when Niall makes a sound of agreement between them.

“I’d love to do it,” Liam says with a moan, forcing his dick deeper into Louis even as he comes.

They spend the next two days fucking in every and all combinations they could think of.

(In the end, they do end up adopting the other baby, a little boy they name Riley. He looked just like his Pop Pop with wide brown eyes and curls, and all of his brothers and sisters loved him from the start.)

(After the ninth child Louis put his foot down and said they really did need to start thinking these things through, but in nineteen years time when Liam comes home and tells them about a little girl who was abandoned by her parents because she started showing accidental magic they’ll add one more, making their broad an even fourteen. Louis doesn’t exactly know how it happened, how they ended up with this many kids, but there’s so much love in their house that he wouldn’t have it any other way.)

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to come scream with me about one direction I can be found at ot5trashno1 on tumblr.


End file.
